Newsletter 2005/06

Since 2003/04 the club has produced weekly match reports. From the start of the 2005/06 season this became a weekly newsletter, distributed during the season, containing match reports from each of the games played that weekend as well as other key information and a selection of adverts and offers.

Sat 10-Jun-06

Issue 25

And so, to mark the end of THD's fourth year, I give you the final Tribune of the 2005-6 season. That it's been some time (yeah, yeah) in coming is in part due to any thought of hockey, or more precisely of Hampstead & Westminster, making me wince, reach for some bubbles and run away from the keyboard. But here you have it, with reports of the last of the season's games and the first of the summer tour reports. On the final weekend of competition, the Women's 2s and 6s bowed out in style with big, big wins, but a glorious finale proved tantalizingly out of reach for the teams in the cup semi-finals. We'll put the cherry on the top next season, and in the meantime remember that the Diamonds are up, the Tornados have done Blackpool and THD girls are the toast of Battersea, sort of.

Watch the website for the Annual Review, out later this summer, for a comprehensive recollection of the year. Before then you can revive a bit of that red and green magic by turning up at the AGM - now scheduled for 3 July at the clubhouse. Nominations, as always, are requested for all sorts of club positions. What better chance do you have to grill the committee or indeed to join them? Rumour has it that other eyes will be scanning for gossip for the Tribune next season - and trust me, they're suitable. As I take my leave, I'd like to thank all of you who have downed glasses over the last four years to scribble out a report from games you may not remember; the captains for trying to make sure that happens; Toby and Mark for fixing the layout and getting it to you; and not least my teammates for providing me with ledgendary (sic) copy. Till the next time ..

reports by: Mark Jones, Billy Dowie, Gemma Baker, Sarah Longair, Claire Whitehead, Frances Barber, Simon Riley and Kath Sowter. And special comment from Ian Wright and Steve Powell (umpires and fans both).

THD Tornados vs. Hampstead & Westminster 7s (away): lost 2-3

London League Division 4B Cup Semi-Final

A game that summed up the whole season. In the first half the Tornados played the same way as they did in the first seven games of the season and in the second half is was back to kind of tenacity that has seen the final two thirds of the season provide 31 points from a possible 39. As with the season the price we paid was again too much... and hopefully lesson learned. It was a case of the better team coming second, although we only showed we were the better team for 35mins. While it is a shame not to be competing in the final it does mean that people are already looking to next season with a massive amount of expectation. Promotion is one aim but really the coveted League position 1 has to be the target and that will look great next to the 06/07 League Cup. As my old mate Paul Weller used to say it's going to be 'A Long Hot Summer' but come September 'Walls Will Come Tumbling Down' and we'll 'Shout To The Top' as we win everything going!

Congrats to everyone this season. I can truly say it has been an honour to captain a side that makes it both so much fun and so easy to run. This squad is the envy of every skipper in the club - both on and off the pitch... we don't need cups or promotions to make us winners! See you in Blackpool ! (MJ)

Team: Lee Tearle (GK), MJ, Nick Thomson, Robby Layton , Rolly Ferneaux, Richard Fenton, Simon Wilshire, Nick Harris, James Perrott, Geoff Pritchard, Nick Jones, Tom Alexander & Loz Mockery.

Scorers: Nick Harris & Nick Jones

Man of the Match: Nick Harris

Umpire: Si Riley

THD Diamonds vs. Hampstead & Westminster Thirsts: lost 3-5

London League Division 5B Cup Semi-Final

This was the same opposition we defeated three weeks ago in the promotion decider; we scored three goals that day too, so there's some consistency. They only mustered one goal that day, against a Diamonds side that proved as hard as .... er..... what's something hard? However, we couldn't carry that edge into this game against a team out for revenge, and duly suffered.

Graeme got his first goal of the season; Arthur & Simon scored the last two goals of the game to give us a little respectability. Not a game to shout about, although Reidy had a good go.

That's it. Season over. We're going up. Well done all. (BD)

Team: Paul Reid, Rob Thomas, Stuart Craig, Billy Dowie, Gus Barnard, Nick Hart, Oliver Walton, Arthur Mitchell, Graeme Evans, Simon Canter, Mark Lay, Dominic Peyton, Tim Harris, Paul Burrows.

Scorers: Graeme, Arthur & Simon

Umpires: JT & Aidan

Women's 1s vs. Richmond : Won 1-0

Last league game of the season - not much to play for other than pride, that and the fact that the winner of this encounter would end up above the other in the league. And although we wanted to finish as high in the league as possible, the fact that we had a semi-final to play the next day was never far from our thoughts.

The contest was a fairly even one. Richmond , obviously more used to the spongy water based than us, picked up some of our spills early on, but it wasn't long before we settled into our passing game. The transfer of play across the back worked really well, and one such move down the left found Lou on the back line, who calmly slotted the ball past the keeper. EJ nearly made it two, but their keeper smothered the shot and Emma just missed out on a touch in at the far post....but we took the narrow lead into half time. In the second half, legs were rested in anticipation of the next day, so there was a bit of changing round of positions. Richmond looked strong on the counter attack, but never really looked like equalizing so we cemented our place in the league, finishing a respectable 4th. (GB)

Team: Pipes, Bettina Wolff, Jenni Martin, Clare Byrne, Nicky Prior (motm), Faye Billing, Gemma Baker, Charley Williams, EJ Barry, Lou Morgan, Martha Harvey-Jones and Emma Kitley.

Scorer: Lou Morgan

Semi Final Trophy v Hampstead & Westminster: Lost 1-2

What an absolutely gutting result! Our preparation was great, we looked strong in the warm up, and even our play for 68 minutes of the game didn't let us down. The game started as brightly as the day did. EJ, Faye and B made a nuisance of themselves down the right, getting some good balls across the D. And after just 10 minutes, B's run along the back line found Gemma, whose shot was saved, but Martha got on the end of the lifted clearance to scoop the ball into the top right corner. Hooray...1-0. More of the same followed. Penalty corners were won, Charley got on the end of a rebounded shot and put the ball in the net. Unfortunately between hitting her stick and going in the goal, it bounced off her shins....goal disallowed. Not disheartened, we continued to look for a second, but it was H&W who equalised after intercepting a pass out from the back, the player took the ball into the circle and unleashed her fury. The ball flew into the top left corner and there was little Pipes could do about it. 1-1 at half time and the rain started coming down....

The intensity of the game didn't let up in the second half as both sides looked for the all-important second goal, but it was, unfortunately, a THD error that handed them the winner. The H&W centre forward intercepted a weak pass between our two centre backs and ran into the circle. Pipes did a great job of holding her up, twice blocking a shot. But eventually, with Pipes strewn out on the ground H&W had another go, the shot wasn't hard (and we thought Jen might salvage the situation with a save on the line), but it wasn't to be. 2-1 to the opposition - and to be honest, slightly unbelievable.

In the final 20 minutes we played even harder. If someone had been taking stats, the percentage of play must have been 80%-20% in our favour. Short corner after short corner was won, Jen blasted just wide on one, and then hit the post with a blistering shot that ricocheted to the far sideline. Charley drilled a shot in which a defender unwittingly knocked off the line after a touch from Lou and there were numerous goal mouth scrambles which always ended up in favour of the opposition. Lady Luck had definitely left the astro (well, for THD not H&W) and the fat lady had started singing. With two minutes to go, H&W were calling their players to hit it up the far end and we ran out of time to get the equaliser.

But (from the whole team), huge thanks to the number of people who came to support us. It was great to see so many there. Your shouting/encouragement kept us going in the final 15 minutes. We're just sorry we couldn't deliver the victory.

Next year..... (GB)

Team: Pipes, Bettina Wolff, Jenni Martin, Clare Byrne, Nicky Prior, Charley Williams, Gemma Baker, Faye Billing, Martha Harvey-Jones, Lou Morgan, EJ Barry, Emma Kitley and Hils Collins.

Scorer: Martha Harvey-Jones

Motm: Gemma Baker

Women's 2s vs. Old Cranleighans: Won 6-2

The Liz Young Testimonial Match It is with a tear in my eye that I write this tribute to my erstwhile team mate and Australian all-round mega-hero - teacher, musician, linguist and sporting superstar, Elizabeth Young. That such raw emotion invoked by her departure inspired a thrilling victory should touch her Antipodean heart, but being a true Aussie, I suspect it won't.

The all-star line-up included Wardy, back from the world of nappies and sick, and Penny, back from Trinidad and soon to return to the world of nappies and sick. In fact, Penny barely made it to either half of the game, hungover and ever-cheery umpire Aidan declaring that he didn't give a sh*t that we were starting without her. Little can be said of the first half except we were damn good, Kato opening the scoring with a resounding thump on the back board. Oz and Shorty held the middle really well and we were all wondering where the over-energetic team that had beaten us on a weary Sunday a month ago had gone. Oz then scored a flick, despite considerable vicarious attempt on my part to claim the goal before the flick was given. Then, showing that the days of right back are far behind her, Wardy, a natural at left wing, scored at the end of a series of immaculate passes around the pitch, champagne hockey indeed.

It is our mission in the 2s to keep the crowd happy, so a walkover, leading 3-0 at half time, would have been a bit dull. The forgettable 15 minutes at the start of the second half (two goals in 5 minutes) allowed them a quick sniff at bringing the score level. Severe sense of humour failure overcame our captain, 'SORT .. IT . OUT' I think it was she uttered, or so they heard in Camberwell. Ever responsive to Kate's orders, 3 goals later (Oz, Penny and Oz again) we were home and dry. Think I was the only one to realise they only had 10 players, but let that not blight the end of a stirring victory, a consistently entertaining season and the twilight of Liz's THD career.

A blow by blow account of the evening's frivolity would be deviating a little from the remit of match report scripture, but highlights for me were vegemite, chicken napkins and the jaw dropping of the team at Penny's wild Manhattan hen night experience, together with practical demonstration. Two fingers to 'moody of East Dulwich' who asked us to be thrown out, and regrets to Simon, whose earlier extravagance prevented his attendance, and Mark and Aidan, who probably hardly remember being there. (SL)

Team: George Sykes, Kate Blumer, Lucy Muldoon, Shorty, Lucy Partington, Liz Young, Oz, Sarah Longair, Wardy, Kate Selway, Penny Stephens.

Scorers: Kate Selway, Oz 3, Wardy, Penny Stephens.

MOTM: Oz

Next game: sometime in September

Women's 4s vs. Epsom 3s: WON: 2-1

The most exciting game ever! Epsom clearly thought that they were assured a victory. However never underestimate the 4s - sometimes we can be really annoying and difficult (not often...). Cannot remember the exact order of things (heat and elation has muddled my head), but I think it went like this:

They were pretty good and were running rings round us;
Sophie scored a great opportunist goal from a slip at a short corner;
Epsom got a bit upset;
Their coach started to get really upset and was shouting loudly;
Coach started shouting rude remarks about the umpires and the game in general;
Umpires asked him to be quiet, please;
Coach started shouting at our supporters;
Coach had to be sent to other end of the pitch but Epsom supporters still all quite rude;
Got on with game;
Oranges for all from Janine;
Second half thriller defending constant attack from Epsom;
Epsom scored - over the top reaction from all their team in manner of scoring winning goal at World Cup;
Andrea scored the most fantastic goal ever (and her first of the season) from a run up the wing and huge hit at goal seconds from the whistle;

So we won! Yay! Apparently Epsom coach's face was like thunder. Both an actual and moral victory. Fab end to the season and great incentive for next - well done all who played. (CW)

Team: Jess Sellman, Nikki Smithies, Stacey Sellman, Kate Vicary, Lindsey Maclaren, Lynne Ruddick, Jena Kitley, Janine Nicholls, Sophie Carter, Claire Whitehead, Andrea Vicari.

Scorers: Sophie Carter and Andrea Vicari

Umpire: Steve Powell

Next Match: September sometime.....

Women's 5s vs. Barnes Hounslow Ealing 5s: Lost 1-2

If you want to win all your games next season, I advise you to borrow an umpire or two from BHE. Under what shall now be knows as 'BHE Rules' the ball doesn't even have to go over the line and it still counts as a goal! As you may note, there is an element of bitterness to T5's final loss of the season. We came out strong against BHE with sharp passing and good positioning on the pitch. Half way through the first half, Penny fluttered her way around 2 defenders, drew the goalie across the goalmouth, and slotted the ball cleanly into the back of the net. We thought that the pattern of the game had been set. Crunch time came at 1-1 in the second half. There was some footling about in our goalmouth, numerous offences were committed by both sides, a foot here, a stick-tackle there... the umpire decided not to blow his whistle even though the play had clearly broken down. It ended with Vix lying on her side batting the ball away from the goalline. The umpire blew for a goal. Racheal shouted 'No Way!'. Martina threatened to nut him. There was nearly a mass T5 walk-out. But dignity and maturity prevailed long enough for us to resume play. Unfortunately we were not dignified enough or mature enough to get over the seething mass of resentment that had settled in our collected stomachs, and we didn't manage to score any more goals. A disappointing end to an otherwise happy season. (FB)

Team: Frances Barber, Penny Ganser, Vix Streatfield, Bridget Morley, Helen Fermor, Martina vanderwotsit, Rachael Fallows, Kate Wheeler, Kathryn Oliver, Faith Geraghty, Zoe Negus.

Umpires: enough about them (ed).

Scorer: Penny Ganser

Next match: Next season :-(

Women's 6s vs Epsom 6s: Won 5-1

Well, what a way to end the season. A gloriously sunny day in Leatherhead and we won the toss. A good start I thought. There was passing, there was saving balls on the line (Jo Hillyer), there was the splits on the goal line ( Alice ) and there were goals! And no penalty strokes or injuries - phew!

It all started with Gigi putting the ball in the back of the net from RW catching Epsom off guard. Their defence started to get a bit rattled and their RB a bit mouthy - we have come to expect this over the season. Nevertheless we battled on as it was a strong game. Some good hit outs from Kate, Jo and Jess this week saw us get the advantage with us actually getting to the ball first. Then a wonderful strike from Maurissa from the top of the D lifted us again and we had faith. There was some awesome passing (Kate A, Katie S, Clare and Mae) and carrying of the ball, Kate A up from LH to Vicky to Maurissa to Michelle to Gigi and the way hey Mrs M scores her goal of the season (and boy was it well deserved - shame it had to be the last game eh Michelle) - still there is always Dublin. So we ended the first half 3-1 up with a temporary lack of concentration and Epsom scored.

There was some discussion at half time whereupon 3-1 was decided to be ok. No says I - its 0-0 we need to get some more - and we did. Vicky scored from the top of the D (LW) and completely surprised herself that it was not a rebound. A fantastic early pass from Maurissa saw her smack the ball into the goal. There were many other opportunities for Michelle, Gigi and Maurissa - a position we only dreamed of for the rest of the season. How many goals did Vicky miss - we lost count - seeing stars after an encounter with the goalie. A controversial last goal scored by Vicky again from the top of the D with a great pass from a long corner - the opposition stopped playing (thinking a short corner would be awarded) and being her usual self she played to the whistle and scored. Not my fault if everyone from the opposition stood still - good call Epsom's umpire and fantastic decision. (Not that her team saw it that way).

Epsom tried to get back into the game - but with our team spirit we were not going to be broken. At the end of the game were all exhausted and vowed to have a great celebration in Dublin . Well we couldn't have celebrated at Epsom - they went off in a huff having had a go at their umpire and didn't invite us for teas. At 10.30 pm they had still not entered the result of which I sent a little reminder. Here's hoping that saves us from relegation.

A fantastic game by everyone - and I mean everyone! Thanks to everyone for giving it their all and producing such a great end game. In fact thanks for all your commitment for the season - apologies to anyone I offended with my rants and raves. I always say it stays on the pitch and it sure does. Good luck to Kate Straker/Mae Lynne McDougall who have agreed to take on the 6s next year. I'll be passing on the contents of my little black file! Best of luck to Mae and Shona too for their forthcoming nuptials. (VW)

Team: Alice Smith, Clare Montagu, Gigi Ho, Kate Straker, Jess Beach , Katie Stone, Mae Lynne MacDougall, Kate Anderson, Michelle Morgan, Maurissa Allan, Jo Hillyer, Victoria Wright

Umpire: Ian Wright - thanks from all of us for being such a god send this season. Everyone much appreciated your commitment - as was shown at the end of the game. I am sure you will be hearing from Ian himself. Chuffed is an understatement.

MOTM: THE TEAM

Next match: Saturday 15 April @ Dublin Corinthians Tour

8 April 2006

THD Dragons at the Spencer 7s - 1/4 Finalists

A sunny Saturday in April can often be as rare as rocking horse do-do, but Spencer Hockey Club seem to be able to time it just right every year. With a slightly later festival this year - to allow for the elongated league fixtures - the chances of sun were even greater. But the chances of quality hockey weren't looking good though. With a team made up from anyone available, a debut for MJ in goal and Riley's first start for over 11 months... expectations were significantly low.

They weren't particularly inspired to be revised upwards when the trademark Dragons slow start saw the first game lost 2-0. Scoring was looking unlikely, let alone a win. It was at this point things changed... an air of self belief came in to play. Bettina's injury saw the team lose their only 'good' player and that was exactly the catalyst that was needed. Grass is our surface and we began to show why: stick tackles, unmerited shouts of 'bobble' and Wilsh's sliding fop-dive block saw the tides slowly turn. Chris (slower than Evolution) and Emma (very slightly mad) supplied the goals while Anna & Linds wandered around the midfield. Mike floored women in a way that no man outside of incarceration should be allowed to do, even MJ offered up a few amazing saves (the saves themselves weren't much to talk about, but the fact he made any was worth mention!).

And so the team gradually turned the corner and began to creep up the league and into the quarter-finals. Slightly unfortunately the opposition managed to claim two England internationals in their midst which ever so slightly tipped the balance of play in their favour. The full time klaxon went and so did the Dragons hope of silverware. Of course, we've no cabinet to put any in and no-one cared... after all, the semi-finals would have meant playing another game!

The results were as follows:

Game	Team	Result	Scorers
Pool Game 1	Undercuts	L0-2
Pool Game 2	Cobras	D0-0
Pool Game 3	LCMF	W2-1	Chris (2)
Pool Game 4	Surbiton	W3-0	Chris (2), Mike
1/4 Finals	One Shots	L2-3	Emma (2)

A quality start to the season and the best ever result in the Spencer Festival. The first tour of the season and already quarter-finalists. Bring it on! This summer is gonna be a scorcher. (MJ)

Team: Mark Jones (GK), Simon Wilshire, Si Riley, Mike Wright, Chris Richman, Emma Bilsdon, Anna Stuttard, Linds McLaren & Bettina Wolff

1st May Bank Holiday

THD Tornados on tour in Blackpool

The old tour rule applies - what goes on tour, stays on tour, so here are the slightly edited highlights.

Blackpool truly is the Vegas of the North. Without the class. Or the 'quality' entertainers. Or the millionaires. Or the weather. That said, has anyone seen doner kebab pizzas or black pudding cheeseburgers in Las Vegas ? Neither have our cousins stateside sampled the delights of THD Men's 4s on tour and to that end, I think they are quite relieved.

The partying started early; 12:30 in a pub at Euston station where rather surprisingly, everyone turned up on time and with their drinking heads firmly in place. We shall gloss over some aspects of the train journey, mentioning only the joys of sending pictures, jokes and videos around the train carriage via Bluetooth and annoying all other passengers with various comments about each other's mothers. I'm sure they were only too keen to join in the banter and to sample our collection of beer and wine (to be drunk from the bottle ideally). Rose wine though Fents? Before we knew it, we'd arrived in Blackpool. The B&B was located, keys acquired and beers were being consumed in the local karaoke bar - 5pm and the boys were belting out renditions of all your favourite cheesey tunes. Video and pictures available on request.

Onwards to The Reflex 80s bar, Linekers, Tower Lounge bar and Club Sanuk. Classy joints all of them. No, really. 4am arrived and the party was over - onwards to the B&B. Via various dirty-burger joints of course - mmm, yes please, I will have a potato waffle cheeseburger to soak up that last beer.

Saturday. Hangover city, population 11 THD tourists. So, off to the pub again, not before Loz demonstrated the art of mini-10 pin bowling... did you know if you throw the ball without it bouncing, it won't break the screens or lighting equipment? No, neither did we. Time for a spot of liquid lunch, football on the telly and preparation for another party filled evening. Slightly different pub crawl this time - Central Pier, Tower Lounge bar (yes, it was so good on Friday, a repeat visit was definitely in order), Lionels and Flares nightclub were the venues of choice. Not too sure what else, but mixing 3 alcopops in a pint is definitely the way forward. Some of the ladies in the venues definitely needed help from a tailor - their tops just kept falling off. Bad fitting garments I'm told.

Sunday. The perfect cure for a hangover is.... go-karting! The man with the child-catcher shoes claimed his vehicle was under-powered. Danthedentist.com proved his Ferrari driving skills do not translate well onto the small circuit. The skipper crashed, but did not burn. Job's a good 'un. A quick trip to the bowling alley allowed Xena the opportunity to demonstrate just how hard he can bowl. Those gutters sure took a pounding from our French-Scot-Ginger-Splitter. Sadly our Tory-boy Wilsh couldn't join us for the weekend... work or some such obstacle. Neither could Pat Harrow - you give him 4 months notice and Mrs Harrow gets contractions on the morning of departure.... 9 months notice next season I think. (SR)

The Dirty almost-Dozen were: Dancing Bear Alexander, Northern Monkey, Skipper, Geoff 'Call me Jonny' Vegas, Child Catcher Layton, Xena, MuttonChops Mockery, Lord Fents of Lancashire, Finesmaster Jones, Roly, the Lost Boy, Danthedentist.com

2nd May Bank Holiday

THD Women at the Battersea Tournament - Won!

The touring season began in style for the girls, with Charley's invitational side taking to the Battersea pitches hoping to win the tournament for the fourth year in succession. The fancy dress theme was the World Cup, with a bit of Germany for good measure. B did us proud on the latter parading round the astroturf in leiderhosen and socks, but typically for a bunch of well-groomed gals, we chose to be Brazilians....

The weather on Saturday wasn't great, and we looked a bit rusty in our first game, only managing a draw. The weather became wetter and wetter, but not to have our spirits dampened, we set about playing human table football and drinking lager and Pimms by the watering-can/jug load. I guess that was always going to spell trouble for some and one, who will remain nameless, produced a priceless display. The rest of us decided that passing out wasn't the way we wanted to spend our Saturday afternoon, and we managed to get some points on the board and gear ourselves up for a night in The Settle. In full Brazilian regalia we looked the part, and various members of the team attracted the undying attention of the Hoff's. Some things are just meant to be, and so it was that EJ and the Nurse rekindled their Battersea Banter, as did Lou (nice haircut, mate) with her tanned Baywatch Boy.

Amazingly, we had a full squad for an early start on Sunday morning and not too many hangovers were in evidence. Purple nasty, or is that nasty purple (?) stains on our kit were seemingly the only reminder of the previous evening's excesses. We won our last 2 group games and the semi-final, with our guest players producing particularly fine performances, though nothing out did Lou's flooring of herself. The final saw us play quite well, but we couldn't finish the game off, so flicks it was. Pipes stepped up for the first, scored with ease, kitted up again and saved 2. Messers Lampard and Crouch should have been watching as we all scored from the spot. All that remained was for us to mob Pipes, collect the champagne, and get back down to The Settle for more banter with the Nurse. Special mention goes to Lucy Muldoon for her single-handed effort in trying to persuade South London 's pretenders that we're really not Tulse Hill & Dull. Photos due on the website shortly...

So, another year, another win, and another bottle of champagne to add to Charley's now legendary collection. Only 2 questions remain.will we ever get to drink it, and will we manage to get a guest appearance out of The Ledge next year? Hope so, to both.. (KS)

Team: Pipes, Hils (Saturday night and Sunday morning), Clare B (Saturday only), Kath, Lucy P, Lucy M, Charley, Gemma, Faye, Lou, EJ, Donna, Des, Kerry and B-razilian (spectator extraordinaire).

Ian Wright's Ode to the Women's 6s ...

This season is now completed and finished , as it begun,

with a well earned victory, and even a bit of sun,

These 6XI girls have battled through thick & thin

with several losses - but only an occasional win.

No heading sinking, no absentees recurring,

these girls have kept positive, like cats - always purring.

It has been a pleasure this season to allow them to play

and not be thwarted each game with decisions awry.

Their ' thank you for the season' deserves exceptional praise,

acknowledgement and admiration - through the bruises and graze.

Having travelled the County with much elation,

the strength in their 'team' results in a tour - what trepidation!

This will provide an enlightening experience to each one of them all,

'ENJOY THE NEW TERRITORY!' Girls - GO HAVE A BALL!

As a much admired mentor would say,

'My Gels - La Crème de la Crème's

Steve Powell's view from the touchline

25 March

I have just sent an e-mail to the fixture secretary of Surrey Women's League pointing out that the presence in Division 8 of a team (UCL) that ought to be in Division 4 at least, is not only a waste of time but also dangerous - just ask Shona who was painfully injured by a ball travelling at a speed usually not seen below the Men's 3rd XI. Results this season against our Women's 6th XI - 12-nil and 16-nil. I have received support in this move, but at present have not had an acknowledgement from Surrey . Let us hope action is taken quicker than last time I was stirred to complain, when it took two seasons to have banned a plainly crooked umpire who blew for the opposition to our Women's 3rd XI. Despite my occasional rant as above, I actually enjoy umpiring (Vicky Wright, please note), usually blowing for the Women's 4ths. I am grateful to Claire and her team for putting up with my decisions, even when plainly wrong, and it beats jogging and going to the gym. I see it as an important role to prevent injuries occurring which takes us back to where we came in - you can't do this if there is a complete mismatch between the teams.

1 April

I much appreciated the Thank You card from the Women's 4s with the suitably-coloured red and green troll (comment from her indoors "at least they got the hair right!"). Thank you also to the parents (they know who they are) for their regular encouragement and in particular for helping me to see off the Epsom coach.

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