Issue 23

Men's Reports | Women's Reports | Mixed Reports

The volcanic eruptions in Iceland delayed flights to and from the UK, took politicians off the front pages of the newspapers and also hindered the production of this week's Tribune.

It was a losing finish for most teams. The Men's 3s, Royals and Saracens all lost their final games. The Women's 1s and 3s also got into holiday mood one game too soon, losing 1-5 and 0-7 respectively!

Unfortunately for the Men's 1s, although they won their final game against Banbury, unfavourable results in National League mean they are relegated to South Div 1.

Don't be bored on the sofa this summer...We have a summer hockey plan and tour dates organised. The Dragons will be featuring at Battersea (29/30 May), Guildford Festival (23/25 Jul) and Riverside 7s (15/17 Aug). Please get in touch with Mark Jones, the Dragons captain, if you want to play. The summer league is played at Spence r Hockey Club on Wednesday nights; to participate, please contact EJ Barry who is captain of the Women's 1s.

For those of you who are afraid of tour hockey, have a restful summer and see you all next season!

Ramana Thirumoorthy - Editor

This weeks match reports from the THD Teams in action.

Reports by: Rob Heath, Mark Annear, Nick Weller, Georgie Phillips

Men's 1s vs. Banbury: Won 3-2

After last weeks disappointing result, we knew that 11th was our position in the league for the second season running.

Normally it's difficult to be motivated for a game that means nothing to our league position. However, Banbury were our opposition, and followers of the Tribune know that we have had some great battles with them over the years, been promoted together, knocked them out the cup etc...

So the motivation was to drag them back down into the relegation zone with a win.

THD started strongly, played well, had the better field position and was rewarded with the first goal through a decent flick from Will. Banbury leveled, but through constant pressure and some great team work we lead 3-1 going into the last few moments. We allowed them to sneak back a goal near the death, but not enough time meant we held onto a rare win.

We still ended 11th, but the look on the faces of Banbury with the knowledge that they may be relegated - priceless. (RH - written on the runway at Heathrow)

The next 30 hours can be summarized as follows:
Teddington won, thus Banbury were 10th
There were superb teas and snakebites in the clubhouse.
More festivities in Clapham
The clocks moved forward so my bus journey home took 90 minutes
Old Georgians and Bath Buccaneers lost in the National League; thus we are automatically relegated; and Banbury await the results of the playoffs.
The skipper fled the country on a one-way ticket with his tail between his legs.

Squad: M Pigden, A Brown, C Smith, T Alford, A Jarratt, W Nurse, M Hann, M Whyte, S Broadway, A-J Lyes, G Bewick, R Heath, J Huntley, S Butt

Scorers: W Nurse, M Hann, J Huntley
MOTM: Rob - general awesomeness
TFC: Rob - first THD captain to be relegated

Next match: End of season!

Men's 3s vs. Hampstead & Westminster 4s: Lost 0-4

No match report.

Next match: End of season!

Royals vs. Indian Gymkhana 4s: Lost 0-2

I was challenged this week with actually writing something about the hockey, rather than waxing lyrically on the wind, the rain - oh, the incessant rain - or salmon swimming daintily upstream.

Alas, in umpiring my thoughts turned less to the performance of the sides than the attitude they took to the game (THD - well-meaning, energetic, but overall less skilful and noticeably shouting a lot more; IG - more skilful, a lot slower but very calm under fire. Slightly cheeky) and accordingly, could not offer much by way of appraisal. I take the words of a spectator, James Francis Pettit, as one view: "Never seen so one-sided a 2-0 loss" - in other words we "were all over them, had tons of shots on goal, but couldn't score and so, lost."

Sadly, that paragraph clocks in at 97 words - barely enough to fill a kettle with. So I thought I'd show instead a photograph (which is of course worth 1,000 words) from the match in question, taken by one A.R.H.Z. Miskin, and ponder on it for perhaps another 400 or so:

Number 7 is T.E. Harris, left wing for the Royals; Number 75 - E.J. "Westlife" Taylor Jones, inside left. The IG player is the same chap who won himself a yellow card in the previous fixture for introducing, after some words spoken between him and Slater, his stick to where the sun - let alone Slater's eyeline - doesn't shine.

T.E. Harris appears to be partway through his shot - a cross into the D to meet some unnamed player ready to pounce and/or miss a shot on goal (B.F. Protheroe, perhaps). Given T.E. Harris' shoulder position (right arm carrying through the shot, rotator cuff extended) and stance, the ball ought surely to have been given a hefty whack to penetrate the IG circle. Presumably it was a push rather than a shot, given the way the shoulder has moved round and what would have been the angle of the stick to the ground. He has ignored the pass to the available Westlife, presumably seeing some better opportunity and - hopefully - unmarked Red shirt in the D. We must give T.E. Harris the benefit of the doubt for not taking the shorter option as we don't know what is happening to the right of the picture - whether a marker is coming in quickly to intercept and force Westlife to move the ball backward, or at least not into the D.

Westlife appears to be open to receive the pass however - although, as discussed above may have a marker as little as three metres away. And yet he has slowed down - perhaps acknowledging that his presence as an option for the pass is no longer immediately required. Or perhaps, perhaps he is turning his attention to a more pressing need - that of defence, rather than attack.

The IG player appears to be looking up, certainly his eyes are not necessarily still fixed on the ball - although we cannot discount he may have one eye on it, and another gazing to the distance. To all intents, it appears as though he has the ball in his playing distance, ready to take the hit out. Perhaps he has already intercepted the pass and is readying to counter-attack - or perhaps he is taking his place to be ready as another option for when the ball is eventually cleared from the D. At the very least, he does not seem too concerned that the shot - or pass - has been made.

Put together, and we have a picture describing vigour and hard work on the one side; lackadaisical skill and calmness on the other. Maybe there is another interpretation. Or perhaps I was watching, after all. (MA)

Squad: J.S. Bayliss (c), A.P. Bond, O.J. Carruthers, R.G. Fleck, O. Furlong, N. Harris, T.E. Harris, N.K. Howick, M. Jones, B.F. Protheroe, B.J. Slater, T.G.E. Smith, E.J.W. Taylor Jones, A.M. Woods (14)

Scorers: only theirs
MOTM: Special mentions for Robbie (despite ignoring the excellent epitaph of last week and playing one more "final game" for the Royals...), Ben Protheroe, Tim Smith, Tim Harris (for having the surname "Harris"), Keith (ballet dancer moves), and Nick Harris (also for having the surname "Harris"). The winner though was Westlife, ending the season on a personal high.
TFC: Particular mentions for Nick Harris (failing to deliver home an early shot from the top of the D which would have made it 1-0), Robbie (railing against the system), Tim Harris (playing in an attacking position and not scoring), Ollie Furlong (playing in an attacking position and not scoring), Ashley (playing in an attacking position and not scoring), Westlife (railing against the system, getting into an excellent attacking position in the D once and... not scoring), the Skipper (playing in an attacking position and not scoring, winding up for a shot in a glorious position in the D and with the goal at his mercy... and allowing the ball to hit his foot, attempting to influence the vote), a surprising vote for Jim Pettit (revealing his vote), and further inglorious votes for Ben Slater (playing up front and not scoring, inordinate amount of swearing directed at children, managing to get a green card for insolence and thereby pave the way for a yellow for an innocuous tirade by his sometime protege, excessive tiredness, a solid attempt to catch the ball at pace, and revealing his vote) and Oli Carruthers (playing up front and not scoring, including a long list of missed attempts on goal, and getting in the way of one of Nick Harris' strikes on goal). The final inglorious mention though was won by Ben Protheroe, for railing against the system, getting the Royals' only yellow card of the season, playing up front and not scoring, numerous missed shots on goal, revealing his vote, not realising how many "Harris's" were on the pitch, and railing against the system a little bit more, and trying to get himself run over. I forget who the winner was, but he must've deserved it.
Umpires: Mark Annear, and one of theirs
Yellow card: B.F. Protheroe
Green card: B.J. Slater
Supporters: James Pettit, Adam Bond, Rachael Miskin, Victoria Furlong, Aiken Furlong, Orla Furlong, Akash Bharadia, some chap named Dudley

Next match: Sometime in September, hopefully not in Essex

27 March

Saracens vs. Hampstead & Westminster Thirsts: Drew 1-1

The team arrived with mixed expectations about the game ahead, these were quickly elevated to a real sense of optimism when the team was bolstered with some unexpected arrivals who decided to include themselves after being overlooked by our captain!

The game began with a period of pressure from the opposition, which was comfortably contained by our defence, after this initial pressure we came into our own, our fluid attack down the right hand side constantly applying pressure, this pressure eventually told and we were awarded our first short corner.

For one of the first times this season we had a plan for our short corners, and all of our three or four practice shorts before the game paid off! The ball was struck towards goal where it took a deflection off one of the runners' sticks and was heading wide before being deflected in to the back of the net by your reporter. Visibly shaken by our goal we continued to pile on the pressure and were unlucky not to further extend our lead on several occasions, thus ended the first half with us in the ascendancy.

The second half unfortunately did not begin in the same way as the first ended, and we found ourselves the ones under pressure, throughout this time Joe produced a series of fine saves to keep our slender advantage, thus it remained for the next 15-20mins each team trading attacking blows with no end result until one defensive lapse and we found ourselves level. Then came the rain, not in the manner of many of our previous matches where the rain was in the form of goals being conceded, but actual monsoon style rain wetter than standing in any shower!

For one second half moment it looked certain that we would extend our lead, your reporter sitting up front somehow managed to evade every single marker on the pitch and find himself in acres of space with only the goal keeper to beat. The ball was played through and what should have been a routine take the ball around the keeper and slot it into the empty net, failed at the first hurdle when I didn't go around the keeper and didn't slot the ball into the empty net! This single game turning event unfortunately and rightly gave me the proud title of DOD and the hopes and dreams of the entire team were dashed in one foul swoop!

But neither the rain or the opposition could prevent us from holding firm and as the final whistle blew both sides will look back and reflect on what was a fantastic and hard fought game that shows if we play like that in our last game we will not finish bottom! One more game and one more win it's as simple as that well kind of! Whatever the outcome, anyone involved in the inaugural season of the Saracens will look back with fond memories of how a team came together and battled on no matter the result!! (NW)

Squad: Joe B (GK), Ian T, Duncan C, Mark H, Colin L, Michael S, Neil H, Nick W, Colin W-J, Tim W, James Taylor, Deepak, Rob H

Scorers: Nick Weller
MOTM: Joe B in goal had a stormer (6 votes) followed by Ali B (3 votes)
TFC: By a country mile Nick (6 votes), for his one on one with the keeper with virtually no-one else in the oppo's half, where he contrived to put it into the keeper

Next match: Home vs. Indian Gymkhana 4s, 1230hrs, DC

11 April

Saracens vs. Indian Gymkhana 4s: Lost 1-6

The team gathered before the match, we watched the exhibition match played before us and we couldn't help being reminded of the way we can play when all the little things come together, our passion and enthusiasm is unrivalled and thus we went out onto the pitch with high spirits!

The game began end to end with both teams carving out chances, unfortunately we didn't take ours and the opposition scored a couple of goals, but the story of the half was their umpire, nothing short of an extra man on their team, at every opportunity either gifting possession to his team or calling up fouls that left everyone a little confused!

The second half was played in much the same way as the first, the umpire continued to destroy the game, on more than one occasion having the audacity to over-rule the decision of his fellow umpire even though the foul occurred miles into the other half!!

The game was fairly end to end, they scored a few goals but we had one last chance to take something from the game... We were on the attack yours truly had the ball struck his shot only to see it come back off of the post, the ball worked its way out to the right to be drilled towards the back post for Miguel to punish that ball into the net. What followed will go down as the greatest goal celebration by the Saracens this season! Miguel sprinting away whooping one hand aloft, and we had our victory!!

The season is now over and all I can say is thank you to all of those I have had the pleasure of playing with over the season and I know we all look forward to next season where the Saracens under Oli's leadership will most definitely march on!! (NW)

Squad: Mark Jones (GK), Niteen, Ramana, Duncan, Miguel, Ben, James, Nick, Ian, Neil, Deryck, Colin L, Colin W-J, Oli, Tim

Scorers: Miguel
MOTM: Miguel (5), mostly for his goal celebration, narrowly beat Duncan (4), honorable mentions for Jonesy in goal and I (2 each)
TFC: By a country mile their umpire, with allegations of bias (even from their own players!), not least for trying to overrule our umpire Mark in his own half and refusing to restart the game until we backed down. Unbelievable! Nick came first among THD players (3 votes) on the day for a "big back post open goal". Mr Weller gets the privilege of writing the match report.

Next match: End of season!

Women's 1s vs. Guildford 1s: Lost 1-5

No match report.

Next match: End of season!

Women's 3s vs. Old Cranleighans 1s: Lost 0-7

We lost 7-0. No comment! (GP)

Next match: End of season!

Next match: 11 April, HA Mixed Plate, Away vs. Epsom HC Mixed