Newsletter 2005/06

Since 2003/04 the club has produced weekly match reports. From the start of the 2005/06 season this became a weekly newsletter, distributed during the season, containing match reports from each of the games played that weekend as well as other key information and a selection of adverts and offers.

Fri 25-Nov-05

Issue 09

In this weather, what better than a Tribune to curl up with under your duvet? Well, you might have something else in mind, but in case of need here's your weekly warmer to fall asleep with. There's two reports from the ever cuddly JT, including news of last Saturday's quiz night, won for the second year in succession by Aidan (winner of this week's sportsmanship award) and co. Comforting. And news too of course of last weekend's matches, including two goals apiece for James Huntley, Nick Hart and Geoff Pritchard, a first newsletter outing for the U18 girls and 8 goals for 8 different goalscorers in the two women's games that went ahead. That's better than brides for brothers. Three matches, though, fell victim to the frost, driving at least one hockey-less member to find solace in a pint or six. A performance that didn't tax the quiz master or challenge the front runners, I hear, but entertaining none the less. And forgiveable. It's been a tough week for Mancunians.

This weekend, there's another bout of home matches to savour - turn up at JAGS or Dulwich College at any time on Saturday to roar the teams on And there's more to look forward to starting with the THD Christmas Party at the clubhouse on 10 December. JT and Lucy promise dancing and crackers and even a buffet. Tickets £10 available from captains this Saturday or mail us if you're a non-playing member and want to come. Everyone welcome - you'd be mad to miss out.

reports by: James Terrett, Andy Balchin, Aidan Brock, Mark Jones, Graeme Evans, Chris Richman, Kate Selway, Claire Whitehead and Rosie Le Voir.

Quiz Night

Saturday evening at the club house produced a surprisingly fine turn-out and the unearthing of some Natural Born Quizzers at the club. Ten gruelling rounds including Current Affairs, Sport, Music and Picture round kept 10 teams happy and on the edge of their seats and also the experience of smug satisfaction that comes from knowing the answers to questions. Winners of the coveted "Goblet of Fire" trophy were the defending champions "Dos Didos Mis Amigos" comprising Chris Richman, Aidan Brock, Emma, Chris Coleman and Lee Snowden. But their win was nothing if not exciting as after the final tally, they were tied with "Whiteheads' Winners" comprising Claire Whitehead, James Perrott, Angus Barnard, Liz Barnard and Steve Powell. A gasp was heard as two members from each team took the lonely walk for the tie breaker question. Aidan from Dos Didos and James - forced under girlfriend's instructions - from Whitehead's. As a hush descended on the arena the question was read out. "I am on the Northern Line. I am travelling in a Northbound direction. What is the station after Tooting Bec?" "Tooting Broadway", "Wimbledon," "Clapham Common" were all shouted at me before Aidan regained his composure and uttered "Balham". Delirium. I then found out that James has always lived in North London and therefore never really had a chance. Very harsh but also fair - we are after all the friendliest club in South London. There is always next year.

A special mention to "The Young Ones" who rather hampered their chances by picking no-one above the age of 16 in their team. Questions like "Who played Vince in the 1980s TV series "Just Good Friends"?" where never really going to be answered. I very much appreciated the effort. Thanks to all for their support and enthusiasm and excellent competitive "whoops" and "squeals" when correct answers were recorded. I felt like I was Jim Bowen. Super, Smashing, Great. (JT)

Men's 1s vs. Blackheath: Lost 4-5

Its a lovely day at the Lakeside. The sun is shining brightly......... distracting some of the players who have not seen the light of day for a number of years. The crowd is going wild with the expectation for a fine spectacle of top quality darts.

THD's Big Jocky Wilson steps up to ocky and begins with a big ton forty - thats 0-1. Then Blackheath respond with some Power darts of their own. 1-1. After some intricate play, Steve Beaton (the Adonis of Darts), charms the ladies in the crowd with a fine throw from 10 feet. 1-2. Blackheath then hit two maximums in a row to take lead at the halfway point. 3-2

Jocky Wilson is back up to the ocky. This huge man mountain calmly gets THD back in the game after some great support from Raymond "Barnie" Barneveld. 3-3. Almost immediately the heath strike back and take control of the game, 5-3. Next up is the crowds' favourite....... The Viking (Andy Fordham), although the heat and sunlight normally hampers his game. He manages to put that all aside and deflects a dart into the bullseye. 5-4

With only moments left in the match. Big Jocky Wilson again returns to the top of the ocky. He takes his time. Aiming for double tops (his favourite double). First throw - thats a marker. Second throw - thats another marker. Third and final throw........ He's hit the wire!

Scenes of jubilation follow......... Blackheath leave with a bag of "Swag". Much to the relief of their supporters, coach, manager, Pub-landlord and goalkeeper. (Andy)

Team: Colin "the Monk" Monk ; Bobby "Dazzler" George, The Viking, Phil "the Power" Taylor, Les "McDanger" Wallace; Eric Bristow, Big Jocky Wilson, Steve "The Duke" Duke; The Count, The Fez, The Rat

Subs: Raymond "Barnie" Barneveld, Steve Beaton (the Adonis of Darts)

Man of the Match and Thanks for Coming: Big Jocky Wilson

Scorers: Big Jocky Wilson x 2, Steve Beaton (the Adonis of Darts) and The Viking

Men's 2s vs. Wayfarers 2s: Drew 2-2

The proof of the pudding may be in the eating, nevertheless its quality depends on careful preparation of ingredients. So to a cold but sunny Saturday afternoon in Dulwich. Wayfarers arrive as a team an hour before the match, TH&D arrive in dribs and drabs, some with only twenty minutes to spare before the off. Unsurprisingly we were off the boil in the first half, not competing effectively for 50-50s, our laxity meaning we went into half time 1-0 down.

A few strong words from the senior players and a little more organisation from the skipper later we started to play a more dominant brand of hockey. Hughesy was immense in the middle of the park, harrying anything that moved, breaking play up and constantly providing us with an outlet, ably supported by Joe on the left and two Nurses (nothing for you gents to get excited about, unless you have a penchant for six foot two and hairy) alternating at the top of the diamond.

Our pressure finally told with, you guessed it, beanie (James Huntley) putting us on level pegging after a well worked attack and scramble in the 'd'. So when we were awarded a penalty stroke after a short corner drag flick caught one of their defenders on the chest things were looking good. Unfortunately my 'shut your mouth and accept the decision' chip wasn't working and after pointing out that the ball was going wide of the goal when it struck the defender the decision was reversed (cue some choice mutterings from a few of my more unscrupulous teammates). Unfortunately a commensurate level of sportsmanship was lacking when, two minutes later, Wayfarers were awarded a short corner after the ball hit a wayfs foot, from which they scored. We dug in and with two minutes to go Will drove wide into the left hand side of the d crossing reverse stick to, you guessed it, beanie for a well deserved equaliser. A good game overall but we'll need to step it up this Saturday as Southgate have scored 44 and only conceded 6 thus far (beating Wayfarers 8-0 in the process). (Aido)

Team: Wiggy, Aido, Ed Stevenson, Chris Coleman, Matt Groom, Hughesy, Ferg Jagger, Joe G, Big Nursey, Little Nursey, James Huntley (Beanie), Potty, Laurent.

Scorers: James Huntley (2)

Next match: Saturday 26 November vs. Southgate - 14.00 @ Dulwich College

Men's 3s vs. Wayfarers 3s: Drew 1-1

After two consecutive defeats we were supposed to win this one comfortably. In previous seasons we've beaten Wayfarers every time. I thought we'd win. We didn't.

An excellent start nearly led to a goal after 30 seconds and we continued to hold the upper hand and created plenty of chances early on. Unfortunately, like one of my bad Saturday nights, we failed to score. Embarrassed. This in turn meant we put our heads down, stopped making simple passes and invited Wayfarers back into the game. I will never know why. The second half held much the same story. We had a period of sustained pressure down the icy end of the Astro which again led to too many chances going wide. The heads went down, and from a break away Wayfarers scored. Frustration. Toys and Dummies were thrown out of prams and two of the team got yellow carded for back-chat just when we needed them the most - directly calling the umpire "Hitler" leaves only one outcome. Idiots. With 9 men, however, we won a short and Alex McDonald flicked in the rebound. Tension. In the final minutes we finished strongly but it wasn't to be and like one of my bad Sunday mornings I woke up with a feeling of disappointment thinking we really should have done a lot better for ourselves. Ashamed. Bah Humbug. (JT)

Team: Jeremy Porter, Kieron Norris, Paul Harvey, Alex Brown, Will Atkinson, Wes Cole, Neil Vose, Nick Jacob, Adam Taylor, Graeme Lyness, Carl Hagger, Lee Snowden, David Fogden, Alex McDonald.

Umpire: Jo Malkin

Scorer: Alex McDonald

Next Match: Saturday 26 November vs. Teddington 3s - away

THD Tornados vs. Wayfarers 4s: Won 5-0

Bish, bash, bosh. they were toss. Actually they weren't, but we were brilliant. On a morning that was colder than Gary Glitter's reception by the Thai police. the Tornados were like a piercing ray of sunshine, our new 3-4-3 system was like a magnifying glass and Wayfarers were like an ant burning to death under the glare. They writhed, moaned, shouted, complained. but ultimately all they could do was roll over and die like a pathetic middle-ages peasant village in the midst of a plague. On a scale of 1-10 we were a Spinal Tap 11. We were born to play this game, like an arthritic pensioner - everything clicked. It was Midas vs Icarus - everything we touched turned to gold and the best they could manage was to fall out of the sky. As my old mate the baby-food manufacturer used to say "it's all about getting the right formula". (MJ)

Team: Lee Tearle (GK), MJ, Tom Alexander, Robby Layton, Si Wilshire, Dougal Davis, Rich Fenton, James Perrott, Nick Thomson, Nick Jones, Dan Hopkins, Irfan Begg & Geoff Pritchard.

Coach: Si Riley

Scorers: Geoff Pritchard (2), Tom Alexander, Dan Hopkins & Nick Jones

Umpire: Si Newell

Next match: Saturday 26 November vs. Teddington 4s - 11.00 @ Dulwich College

THD Diamonds vs. London Wayfarers: won 4-1

Perhaps it was the sub-zero temperatures, or maybe just the absence of captain Billy Dowie, but the Diamonds took forever to get going against one of the league's strugglers on Saturday. Out-muscled in midfield and up front, THD were wobbling when Wayfarers equalised a first-half strike from Warren Holme and looked favourites to take the lead after the break. Keeper' Gavin Lawson and a defence well marshalled by Stuart Craig kept the home team at bay and in the end outstanding second half performances from two of the youngest players on the pitch - Arthur Mitchell and Nick Hart - helped secure a fourth straight win. Arthur broke the deadlock with a well-taken finish while Nick added the final two goals after a succession of short-corners. Thanks to James Perrott for umpiring. (GE)

Team: Gavin Lawson, Richard Batty, Will Morgan, Stuart Craig, Warren Holme, Simon Canter, Nick Hart, Oliver Walton, Dominic Peyton, Rob Giret, Graeme Evans, Arthur Mitchell

Scorers: Warren Holme, Nick Hart (2), Arthur Mitchell

Umpire: James Perrott

Next match: Saturday 26 November vs. Southgate Goblets - 15.00 away

THD Royals vs. Reading: Lost 2-3

For a year and a half of captaining this side there have been several patterns to emerge. Firstly we have mad keepers: the prime specimen being Tao last year. As anyone who had any contact will testify, he left us fearing for the future generation. This year we have Gavin who apart from harbouring an ambition to be a TV weatherman has lungs that Bryn Terfyl would be proud of. The second pattern is that no matter what time or location is stated we are supposed to be at everyone apart from a couple are always late. This is worse considering one of our number lives 40 yards from the DC pitch and still manages to be late. The final pattern and the most worrying one is that we seem to love giving teams a two goal start. Now in the 90's Dave Bassett then manager of Sheffield United used to hold Christmas in August because his team only seemed to start playing after the yuletide festivities. This is a great peice of kidology but how do you do this for the first halves of games?

So far in nine games this season we have gone into half time ahead only twice. This has been the story of the last two weeks: we have conceeded two early goals, been lucky not to be further behind and then come out in the second and played the oppo off the pitch. We have tried a proper warm up and have tried talking about it but nothing seems so far to have worked. This is our only real problem because apart from Wimbledon when we start playing in the second half there isn't a team in our league that can live with us. Any suggestions? I can normally be found at the bar in the clubhouse weeping into my pint. (CR)

Team: Gavin Lawson, Chris DeSouza, Neill Eggins, Mike McKinnon, Richard Mead, Mark Annear, Ben Lones, Ed Allen, James Kingdom, Doug Heard, Mike Wright, Tim Smith, Kim Keats, Chris Richman

Scorer: Kim Keats

Next match: Saturday 26 November vs. HAC Sutlers - 15.30 @ Dulwich College (or sometime after 16.00 when the second half starts)

THD Dragons : No game

Next match: Sunday 27 November vs. Old Whitgiftians Mixed - 13.30 @ Dulwich College

Women's 1s vs. Barnes Hounslow & Ealing: Match postponed - frozen pitch

Not ideal if you've driven down from Manchester for the game. And dangerous..... You needed to have been at the quiz to understand.

Next match: Saturday 26 November vs. Richmond - 12.30 @ Dulwich College

Women's 2s vs. University of London 1s: Won 5-2

Longbeard having vacated to Prague for the weekend because it begins with P (I dunno, these intellectuals!), the vocab will probably take a retrograde step this week, but there's really only one important word in this week's report. GOALS. Five of 'em. Five lovely, big, shiny, bona fide, yummy, scrummy goals. The Trinidadian Tornado struck in under 10 minutes, picking it up just inside the 25 and making it hers, round the keeper, and smack into the backboard. We haven't seen a goal like that in a while. A few minutes later we won our first short corner. Straight strike - me, on target just inside the post (unlike the previous 41 in training). Harriet got one, Emma another, and Biba thwacked one in from the edge at a mere 15 degrees. Wow, wish I coulda done that! The Students were fit and feisty, and when it was 3-2 I thought we were going to throw it all away again, and Muldoon confessed later she felt a bit wobbly too (was that why she kicked the ball in our D, or was it a protest at having to play centre back?). George had to make several good saves to keep them down to 2, and generally the marking was spot on. But it never felt comfortable until we were 5-2 up and there were under 10 to go. Such a glorious goal fest I'm in danger of saying we played really well too ... but I think maybe we did at times. Blimey. I'd buy it on DVD.

This week's talent was: George Sykes, Kate Blumer, Kate Selway, Lucy Muldoon, Nicky Prior, Alex Hardy, Biba Tunnicliffe, Liz Young, Penny Stephens, Emma Kitley, Harriet Gallagher-Powell, Beth Little.

Player of the Match: The Old One

Scorers: Penny Stephens, Kate Selway, Harriet Gallagher-Powell, Emma Kitley, Biba Tunnicliffe

Umpire: Aidan Brock

Next match: Saturday 26 November vs Wimbledon - 11.30 @ KCS, Wimbledon

Women's 3s vs. Epsom 3s: Match postponed due to frozen pitch

Next match: Saturday 26 November vs. Raynes Park 1s - 11.00 @ JAGS

Women's 4s vs. Barnes Hounslow and Ealing 5s: Drew 3-3

As usual my memory of the game is pretty hazy....however, I think it went like this:

Nightmare journey along the south circular made worse by someone careless hitting a bridge in Putney. Late. Not good start;
Freezing cold - extreme conditions - pitch frozen at one end, dazzling sunlight the other;
Game starts: oppo score 2 goals totally against the run of play. A sun-blinded jess in goal unable to even see the ball;
We get loads of corners but it's too cold and skiddy our end to convert;
Finally Ash sneaks in a cheeky goal - hurrah!
They get another.....
Half time.
Now we have the sun and a blinded keeper - take advantage and get 2 more goals....
Nearly get another (should have had a flick) but their sweeper is determined not to let us;
Time. 3-3 draw. Fab game, great team work, long journey back.
Quiz.

Team: Jess Sellman, Anna Stuttard, Rona Frances, Adele Harrison, Rosie Le Voir, Helen Clark, Janine Nicholls, Lynne Ruddick, Jena Kitley, Emma Billsdon, Ash Macdonald, Sophie Carter, Claire Whitehead

Scorers: Ash (1), Emma (1), Claire (1)

MOTM: Still under negotiation/secret email ballott. TBC.

Umpire: Steve Powell

Next Match: Saturday vs. Wimbledon - 12.30 @ JAGS. Supporters please.

Women's 5s vs. Addiscombe 2s: Lost 1-4

Next match: Saturday 3 December vs. Shirley 1s - away

Women's 6s vs. Croydon MO 3s: Postponed - frozen pitch

Next match: Saturday 3 December vs. Walton & Weybridge 1s - away

Girls U18s vs. Brentwood (Cup match): Drew 1-1 but lost after penalty flicks

For our first round cup match, Brentwood provided a surprisingly strong opposition, but then again they'd say we were too. While a couple of players seemed baffled by the 5m rule on free hits and the whole thing of actually running to meet the ball, we had some true talent shared between our young players.

The match began and most of the time all seemed pretty even. After a few major re-shifts in our structure, both sides had breaks and scoring opportunities missed, with us even not managing to score from 5 consecutive short corners. Unfortunately after a few times of the beastly no.10 running free at us in defence, they managed to slip one past Jess to put the first point on the board. The half time whistle blew and as Peter said, all was to play for and we had "to go out and win that bloody match!" After what seemed like a frustrating half an hour and about 100 short corners later, Lizzy scored a blinding straight strike and to add to her happiness, Mum was there to watch armed with the camera ready for action! It was 1-1 with about 10 minutes to go. Suddenly everyone's passing really picked up and finally we working effectively as a team as Brentwood continued to get more and more pissed off. All started to look good when we were awarded (another!) short corner and the final whistle blew. Everyone stepped up but sadly and to Emma's frustration we couldn't put a final one away. (RlV)

A penalty flick shoot-out followed but sadly they were just too good winning 4-1. But oh well, we played well and all we can say is bring on the plate competition!

Team: Jess (GK), Lucy M M, Hannah E, Jo, Olivia R, Rosie LV, Rosie C, Lizzy F, Becky, Tash R E, Nat SSC, Emma K, Maddy.

Scorers: Lizzy

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