Newsletter 2005/06

Since 2003/04 the club has produced weekly match reports. From the start of the 2005/06 season this became a weekly newsletter, distributed during the season, containing match reports from each of the games played that weekend as well as other key information and a selection of adverts and offers.

Fri 10-Mar-06

Issue 21

The twenty first Tribune of this season brings you news of a weekend that was classic THD. Some crushing wins, some equally magnificent losses, and four nail-bitingly narrow defeats from which the red and greens emerged unbowed on the grounds that we were simply more friendly, 'fit' and full of it than our opponents. Aren't we always? The summaries below give you highlights of all the weekend's matches, including a reporting debut from THD's self-styled Adonis, John Nurse. He's not just a pretty face. Read on at your leisure, but if pushed for time you might want to concentrate on the four victories. We're at that brutal stage of the season when points mean prizes and the lack of them can mean ignominy.

Good then, that all our points came in the matches that mattered. Wins for the Diamonds and the Tornados (involving ten goals and goal-scorers) ensured they go into their final league games of the season this Saturday with promotion in their grasp. And the Dragons remain on top of their league with only one game to go. Considering a sobriquet yet? At the other end of the tables, the Men's 1s put six past Blackheath to push their goals for tally to 63 and boost their chances of survival with three matches to go.

The Men's 1s take on Chichester tomorrow at the College at 14.30. Get there to watch - the odds on goals are good. The Tornados too would like your support - 11.00 push back at JAGS. And if you find yourself in Paddington, cheer on the Diamonds who start at 13.30 at the Rec. It could be glorious ..

Almost the last chance to book!! Don't forget to get your End of Season Dinner (18-Mar-06) tickets. Click here for more information and to download a ticket request form.

reports by: Richard Banwell, John Nurse, Mark Jones, Billy Dowie, Chris Richman, EJ Barry, Kate Selway, Kate Vicary and Jo Hillyer.

Men 1s vs Blackheath: Won 6-2

Self improvement is an essential part of any good team performance. As a matter of fact a winner feels responsible for more than just his job on the pitch - a loser might say 'I just work here' and shrug his shoulders. Despite all efforts, last weekend's defeat was a disaster and we were therefore asked to stand a little taller and demonstrate the poise and confidence that will be required over the final few games: mission accomplished.

THD started strongly playing with good initiative, which earned Ireson an early goal off the post and via a defender's foot - the sort of chance that did not go in last week. Yet, we contrived to allow Blackheath to equalise, soon recovering the lead with a Nurse drag flick. Again, Blackheath were allowed to equalise through a penalty corner but both of their goals, it is fair to say, were against the run of play. Through hard running up front and in defence, THD had a great deal of possession leading to concerted pressure on the Blackheath 'D'. One excellent chance developed by Craven with a great cross from the right went to Banwell who promptly obliged in cocking it up when surely it was easier to score?

The game turned either side of half time. Labourt, playing in the most forward of four midfield positions, quite frankly caused havoc in the Blackheath midfield and defence. Scoring on his reverse before the break meant we led 3-2 and very soon after the re-start he dribbled and carried the ball through much of the Blackheath right hand side and then drilled a shot into the far corner. A hamstring injury then limited any further involvement soon after. However, at 4-2 the team began to show a measure of patience and reliability in passing that inevitably lead to further goals, from Weir and Drury from close range after a sprinting lead which began in a different continent it was so long and sustained. Porter, on debut, dealt efficiently with what came his way - a save with the stick low to his right at Blackheath's penalty corner after time was up was tremendous.

This team performance was characterised by self-control, alertness, fight and integrity throughout the side. We next have the tough task of Chichester who are second. Our final games could be considered more difficult than others around us, but we are faced with another simple choice: the road ahead or the road behind. (RB)

Team: Jeremy Porter (GK), Will Nurse, Tim Howarth (c), Andrew Eames, Christopher Smith, Gareth Weir, Richard Banwell, James Ireson, Andres Ignacio Labourt, John Craven, Jon Drury, Laurent Ferron

Scorers: Ireson, Nurse, Labourt (2), Weir, Drury

MOTM: Banwell

Next Match: Saturday 11 March vs. Chichester - 14.30 @ Dulwich College

Men's 2s vs. Southgate: lost 1-2

On the 4 March, the 2s travelled north to a prime spot in the forest of Oakwood near Cockfosters, home of Southgate. As the sun rose in the sky over the battlefield and the troops arrived for role call, it became apparent that our absent Captain had in fact defected and had attempted to sabotage the team by not returning Garth’s kit. This could have reduced us to 10 men but luckily the Nurse family had decide to bring reinforcements (thanks for coming, Jimmy) and Garth - in true South African fashion - managed to beg, steal and borrow some kit. The young opposition attempted some interesting tactics, something called a warm-up, to prolong the gladiators' time in the mid-day heat. Finally, following a war-cry of ‘Glory Hole’, the battle was underway.

Tulse Hill and ‘Royal’ Dulwich 2s showed their experience putting their young opponents under pressure early on, quickly identifying the ‘fat ginger’ bloke as the weak link. Only some excellent play, by the premier league ringer in goal, prevented the incredibly agile Nursey being denied, firstly from a corner and then from an athletic reverse stick strike. Approaching halftime Chris Coleman accidently took his axe to an opponent's stick inside our 25. Unfortunately the umpire was only blind and not deaf and awarded the ‘chavs’ a corner, which despite another maverick charge down by Snowy, slipped into the bottom corner.

The mood in camp at half time was positive, despite being a goal down. After some wise words, about the old farts on the balcony and giving some free consultation on installing a new sprinkler system, the soldiers returned to the battlefield. Within minutes the skilful combination (and a little brute force) of Mr Brown, Garth and Jim Nurse combining with Nursey allowed the handsome striker to slot the ball passed the keeper into the side net to equalise. This immense goal unnerved the youngsters and their whining manager. They came back fighting requiring some lightening reaction saves from the stand Keeper, Stirling. Following another controversial short corner awarded by the Southgate 12th man, the school boys were again ahead.

London’s Friendliest Club fought back well. Ed, Rob and Ferg leading the charge forward from the back. With time running out, Nursey felt he had to stop the game to teach youngsters to count 5 yards. And then with seconds running out Ferg had to politely threaten one of the little oiks to stop wasting time. Alex clearly felt sorry for the little guys as he then pushed the ball off the end of the pitch as soon as we gained the advantage back. The final whistle blew, Tulse Hill and ‘Royal’ Dulwich 2s left the pitch with a moral victory. (JN)

Team: Ferg (Capt), Alex, Rob, Ed, Chris, Potty, Paul, Jim Nurse, John Nurse, Snowy, Stirling, Garth.

Scorer: John Nurse

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Hampstead & Westminster 3s - 12.00 @ Crystal Palace Bar Pitch

Men's 3s: No game

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Hampstead & Westminster 4s - 10.30 @ Paddington Rec

THD Tornados vs. Teddington 4s: Won 6-2

Twelve players, six goals from 50% of the squad. Work that out Vorderman! As dominating as a high-class hooker the Tornados savaged Teddington mercilessly. From a diving 100% commitment goal in the first minute to a last gasp short corner goal in the 70th, this performance showed that quality is more than half the name of a box of chocolates. It wasn't sexy, technically brilliant or even that impressive... but it was all it was needed to be. We came, we saw, we stuck it right up them... and as we all know... they don't like it up them. As my old mate Seal used to say, "It was 'Killer'!". (MJ)

Team: Lee Tearle (GK), MJ, Nick Thomson, Rolly Ferneaux, Rich Fenton, Robby Layton, Dougal Davis, Nick Harris, Dan Hopkins, Tom Alexander, Nick Jones & Loz Mockery.

Scorers: Robby Layton, Tom Alexander, Rich Fenton, Nick Harris, Nick Jones, Dougal Davis.

Man of the Match: Robby Layton

Umpire: Si Riley

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Hampstead & Westminster 7s - 11.00 @ JAGS

THD Diamonds vs. Southgate Goblets: Won 4-2

We held a minute’s silence in memory of Nick Chalk before this game. When I had explained the reason to the Goblets’ coach during the week, he was devastated; Martin Foxall had spent a few years coaching at TH, where he had worked very closely with Nick.

Before Xmas, we had a very tight game against this lot, all (with one exception) schoolkids between about 12 and 16. Not only impressive stick players, they have been coached by Martin into a team that plays together; our 5-2 win that time was due to our ability to soak up a lot of pressure and counter-attack with devastating incision.

Those qualities have gone missing recently, but they returned at the weekend, and we needed them against a team who were as skilful and effective as ever – and not soft either; one of them even barged me over (twice). We were grateful to have Wes & Kieron covering for injured players at the back, where we all had to be sharp as razors, but it was the midfield and forwards who put the Goblets on the back foot after the first ten minutes and kept them there for most of the game. Arthur put the first one away shortly after coming on midway through the first half, and Irfan finished off a short-corner routine, blasting it past a stupefied keeper to make it 2-0 at the break.

Simon placed a beauty beyond him 10 mins into the second half to give us an unassailable lead at 3-0, so I came off out of defence to see how Irfan’s kid brother Hamza shaped up, only to return a minute later after Richard caught a ball in the glasses – a minor eyebrow cut was later superglued together by the girl at the Woollies checkout.

The Goblets, however, did not reckon that 0-3 was so unassailable, and promptly punished our overconfidence to make it 2-3 with about five minutes to go. The collywobbles could have set in, but we went straight up the other end, where Nick’s cross (from inside the D) into a crowded goalmouth panicked their keeper into deflecting it over his line.

Our man of the match was Arthur, who slotted into the left midfield role superbly, showing us all how to play these kids – the fact that he himself is 14 probably helped. Nick Hart, back for these last two games, reminded us all what we’ve missed since he returned to University in January.

So, having secured a play-off place, we can now go one better this coming Saturday, our last league game of the season. We are in second, with first spot out of reach. Equal on points with us are the Hampstead Thirsts, but we have the better goal difference – and we’re playing each other. Thus, win or draw and we are promoted; lose and they go up in our place. And it really does feel like "our" place, so it's up to us to ensure we don't let them take it off us. After this performance, there is not one of us who won't believe in our ability to do it. (BD)

Team: Paul Reid, Billy Dowie, Wes Cole, Richard Batty, Hamza Begg, Kieron Norris, Will Morgan, Nick Hart, Warren Holme, Simon Canter, Mark Lay, Dominic Peyton, Tim Harris, Irfan Begg, Arthur Mitchell

Scorers: Arthur, Irfan, Simon, Nick

Royal Umpires: Chris Richman, Richard Mead

Next Match: Saturday 11 March vs. Hampstead Thirsts – 13.30 away

THD Royals vs. HAC Sutlers: Lost 1-4

An old FA coaching manual I possess has this to say about how an ideal football match should be played.

"From the first whistle a side should look to start fast and look to impose themselves on their opposition. When this has been achieved, ideally inside the first five minutes, said side should look to continue at this high tempo and pressurise the opposition…………."

This goes on for another four paragraphs. So on Saturday what did we do? The game started with us walking around for the first five minutes. In this first five we conceded. The rest of the half we continued on mission so to speak. Unfortunately one thing the manual dosen’t cover is how to cope with being hit on the break, which happened twice incidentally, although I am sure if it did it wouldn’t include the words panic and mistakes. Ho hum, that’ll be three nil at half time then!

So after looking to put theses things right at half time, start fast put them under pressure, they’re not that good etc……the version of my team that move slower than I do, as we all know that’s quite an achievement, started the second half promptly conceding a fourth, effectively signalling the end of the game. To our credit we battled to the end replying with about ten minutes to go from a short corner.

Another thing the manual says is there are things to learn from every game. I think the one lesson we should learn from this game is that if y’all play at my pace then we’re f***ed. (CR)

Team: Alex, Will Pendrill, Mike McKinnon, Andy Bond, Richard Mead, Doug Heard, Mark Annear, Mike Wright, Ollie DeLa Fosse, Kim Keats, Ed Allen and Chris Richman.

Scorer: Doug Heard

Next match: vs. Reading Rascals - date, time, venue tba

Women’s 1 vs. Maidenhead 1s: Lost 3-4

Oh where to start? At the beginning is generally the best place, I know, but the start of this Magical Mystery Tour to Maidenhead is as unclear as the rest of it. We were all there on time for once, half an hour early in some cases, and were wondering what to do with our time when Lou Morgan turned up. She had set off from Manchester in the early hours with a “Rescue Hamper” provided by her mother due to large amounts of snow up north. So we had an Enid Blyton-esque picnic in the car park of tea and biscuits followed by a bit of Ulimate Frisbee (is that what slowed you down? - ed). And then there was hockey.

We had barely assembled on the pitch when we found ourselves 1 nil up, Lou nipping the ball round the keeper at close range after excessive skills by Jen on the left wing. But unfortunately we then switched off and allowed them unlimited access to the circle and gave them a couple of goals. As if it couldn’t get any worse Jen then decided to attack Lou and split her eye open. There was blood everywhere and Lou was shipped off to the local morgue. Oh that’s right she was actually ok as her wave to the crowd indicated as she was carried off. As if attacking one player wasn’t enough, Jen then belted the ball at EJ after the re-start, who was minding her own business on the right post. The ball ended up in their net and at half time we were back in it at 2-2, though it felt as if we had been in Maidenhead for about a week.

Due to lack of subs we played the game with just 10 after Lou’s departure but fought hard and never gave up. We were thwarted on many occasions and had another goal disallowed, but gave them the advantage of another 2 soft goals. We had all the possession towards the end and Charley slotted in from a penalty corner, but it just wasn’t enough. (EJB)

Team: Jo Pipes, Alex Crawford, Kath Sowter, Claire Byrne, Nikki Prior, Faye Billing, Gemma Baker, Charley Williams, EJ Barry, Lou Morgan and Jenny “The Terminator” Martin.

Scorers: Lou, EJ and Charley

MOTM/DOTD: Jenny

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Oxford Hawks 1s – 13.00 @ Dulwich College

Women's 2s vs. Purley Walcountians 2s: Lost 0-1

This is a jinxed fixture no doubt. Our last visit to Purley was a jawbreaker (ask Nicky), and a few seasons back we had a truly memorable horror (chat to Charley). This time the early signs were promising. The team got there 30 minutes early (apart from 1 car - for which see below), the Captain had a babysitter (and her children were being looked after too) and the sun was shining. So high were the spirits among us that we phoned those in the late car and told them that there had been a mistake with timings and the match was starting an hour before we thought. Driver Lucy P's face was as black as the black on her new THD tracksuit (er, yes, that's charcoal black not navy blue!) when she discovered the joke and she told us how she'd had several near misses in the last few minutes.

Fortunately, she recovered her aplomb to scoop player of the match a few hours later. Oh yes, the hockey. Pretty frustrating. According to their coach afterwards we played all the hockey. Small consolation for the 1-0 defeat and possibly the worst umpire we've had all season. Persistent early line breaking on short corners went totally unpunished. We paid the price for a very unlucky early own goal (Muldoon passing deftly through Dulcie's otherwise faultless pads) and failed to press home our significant territorial advantage. All very annoying. Good job Blumes was on hand afterwards to give us a laugh when filling in the league form and taking dictation from Oz for the spelling of Abbonizio. "Blumes that's S-U-P-E-R-C-A-L-I-F-R-A-G ...". Captain's enthusiasm marred only by the realisation that the goalkeeper is three times younger than her. Ouch!

Team: Dulcie, Lucy Partington, Lucy Muldoon, Kate Blumer, Kate Selway, Liz Young, Longbeard, Emma Kitley, Oz, Biba, Harriet Gallagher-Powell, Hils Collins.

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. London Uni - 12.00 away @ Indian Gym

Women's 3s vs. Old Georgians 1s: Lost 2-3

Friday night and finally 11 players found!! Despite having a reduced strength team, only one regular forward, no subs, one sore leg and one swollen ankle, this was a closely fought game. We took an early lead thanks to a fabulous touch by Mo, who deflected Julie’s cross through the keeper’s legs. Old Georgians fought back hard, and although Jess and the defence made some excellent saves, Old Georgians managed to score 3 goals in quick succession. The second half saw THD rally, and our efforts were rewarded when Beth, who had troubled their midfield throughout the game, converted a short corner. As the game drew to a close THD produced some great play, but we weren’t able to get the equalizer and the game ended 2-3. (KV)

Team: Lou Curry, Lizzy Frost, Julie Lapsley, Beth Little, Emma Matabalaw, Lindsey Mclaren, Mo O’Brien, Jess Sellman, Stacey Sellman, Kate Vicary, Fatima D'Onafrio

Scorers: Mo O'Brien & Beth Little

Player of match: Julie Lapsley

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Epsom 3s - 10.30 @ Crystal Palace Bar

Women's 4s: no game

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Barnes - 16.00 @ Dulwich College

Women's 5s: no game

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Reigate Priory 3s - 12.30 @ JAGS

Women's 6s vs. Old Georgians: lost 0-5 (or was it 6?)

Bit of a damp squib, this week's game. Alice, clearly reluctant to repeat last time's head-splitting performance, was woefully absent with her head down the loo, and being kit-less, we were therefore goalie-less, and had to play a friendly instead. (Big thanks to Chris for bringing another kit, sorry no one called to cancel the request). Fortunately OGs were fielding a less experienced side than usual, and we held them off for quite a while until Jo gave away (and unsuccessfully defended) a penalty (having mentally stepped into the goalie role). It went downhill from there. We were 4-0 down at half time, so OGs lent us their keeper, and things picked up (only 1, maybe 2 more goals against) us, but we never really managed to get past them. Better luck next week, girls! (JH)

Team: Maurissa, Jo, Pippa, Isla, Mae, Clare, Katie, Jess, Lucy, Shona, Michelle

Umpire: Ian Wright

Next match: Saturday 11 March vs. Croydon MO3s @ Crystal Palace Bar

THD Dragons vs Spencer: Won 8-2

The team performance was overshadowed by a miraculous milliner and an orthadontist treatment... or to be more specific a Charley Williams hat-trick and a Chris Richman brace. The Dragons worked like a well oiled machine and - apart from a few comedy errors - the clock ticked relentlessly against the oppo while Si Riley's umpiring skills had to incorporate a reintroduction of the old tally system... apparently it get's complicated when you get to five! Consideration was given to describing each goal, but perhaps that would have been a Tribune all of its own! As my old mate Long John Silver's Parrot used to say "Pieces of eight anyone?" (MJ)

Team: Jeremy Porter (GK), MJ, Will Nurse, Ratty, Snowy, Tom Alexander, Chris Richman, Gemma Baker, Lou Morgan, Lou Curry, Linds McLaren, Charley Williams & Jenni Martin.

Scorers: Charley Williams (3), Chris Richman (2), Gemma Baker, Snowy & Tom Alexander

Umpire: Si Riley

Next match: Sunday 12 March vs. Wanderers Sinners - 12.30 @ Battersea Park

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