General News
News > Newsletter 2006/07
Newsletter 2006/07
Since 2003/04 the club has produced weekly match reports. From the start of the 2005/06 season this became a weekly newsletter, distributed during the season, containing match reports from each of the games played that weekend as well as other key information and a selection of adverts and offers.
Fri 23-Feb-07Issue 20
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a modicum of hockey talent (and a team of women to coach) must be in want of a wife…”
Although there is great temptation to continue provoking Jane Austen to spin in her grave, the abridged version of this potential bestseller continues thus… Young William, after years of searching, finally met his match in Gemma. He had to overcome the Pride (“she’s better than me at hockey”) and she the Prejudice (“marrying your coach is such a cliché.”) So on one knee, he offered her a dimpled diamond and she became his betrothed, heralding whoops of delight for the latest THD engagement. Having survived two years of coaching and captaining the Women’s 1s together, they are ready for anything. Huge congratulations and a glass of bubbly raised for Will and Gemma.
Below are the few, some evidently quite forgettable, matches this week. Apart from the Team of the Week (i.e. the only winning team) Dragons blazing into next round of the HA trophy, the women’s 1s eeked out a draw to stay top of their table, while men’s 1s, 4s and 6s faltered. After a few weeks of absenteeism from the Tribune, the Royals return in style with an epic, semi-intelligible, team effort. Many teams are back in action this weekend in the all important run up to the end of the season where possibilities of relegation or promotion are looming large. Also there’s the small matter of a rugby match over the Irish Sea – tense times indeed.
Reports by: Mark Jones, Chris Smith, Wes Cole, all the Royals, Gemma Baker.
HA Trophy Round 2: Dragons vs. Middleton & Bognor: Won 8-1
With more spectators than a line of King Edwards in glasses, the Dragons took to the field against a Bognor team that was weaker than a fat kid on a diet. The game started tentatively and after a few minutes play, the scores were equal at 1-1. It was at this point the Dragons flicked the class switch and transformed into the god-like hockey muses they are. With fast ping-pong passes that threaded through the oppo like we were playing against a team made up of needle eyes, the capacity crowd could have been forgiven for thinking they were watching pinball.
An impressive 4-1 at the break meant that there was no way back for the hapless farmer's market side, but there was yet more to come from the Dragons - unlike the OC, this script wasn't tired or cancelled after the third season. The Dragons are now in their sixth season and still growing like Rick Moranis' film son. Another four goals in the second half - with a further two disallowed - showed that the team was doing their best to give the umpires both dizzy spells and rsi. Onto Round 3 then and an away tie against Harleston Magpies... despite how impressive their club is they've only got one mixed team and we all know that one Magpie is for sorrow - that's right, they'll be weeping after the Dragons sweep into town on the Trophy express! (MJ)
Team: Piggy (GK), MJ, Chris Coleman, James Kirby, Aido, Ed Marland, Will Nurse, Ratty, Gemma Baker, Lisa Cox, Lou Curry, Kath Sowter, Emma Parker, Hannah Cooke & Lou Morgan.
Scorer(s): Gemma (2), Ratty (2), Coleman (2), Lisa & Lou Morgan.
Umpires: Si Riley & Chris Richman.
Next games: League: Sunday 4 March vs. UCL Academicals Mixed, Battersea Park Trophy: Sunday, March 18, vs. Harleston Magpies Mixed (away)
Men’s 1s vs. Henley: Lost 4-2
The Fear of Relegation. The race to avoid the bottom 3 (or 5),the cause of mass fear, envy, anxiety, desperation and humiliation. Surely too good to go down....the team touted as a 'top 4' side now have one eye down the barrel after displaying all the attributes of West Ham United on a bad day.
We arrived at pretty Henley on a balmy Saturday afternoon with a point to prove following the blip at Wimbledon two weeks ago. We had the spirit, the energy and the game plan to take apart Henley and their full on all attack style. Game on! Full domination continued with talismanic striker Andy Balchin firing home the first of the game and yes, Andy, you are right there is no such thing as an own goal in hockey as it deflected and rebounded more times than Duncan 'Sailor Boy' Holmes love life. TH&D sitting pretty, then disaster, Chris Smith pass deflected into the path of their striker on the 'p' spot, cue Chris Smith again in desperation hitting everything except the ball - penalty stroke - 1-1.
Then further disaster, drag flick by Henley - 2-1. Half time and a big regrouping and spanking by the coaching staff. Did it work? Yes, TH&D responded with efficient ease - good work by Andrew Balchin enabled James Huntley to slot home with his reverse stick. But TH&D relaxed a little too much....James Ireson dismissed for deliberate foot, Rob Heath losing a nose and Henley's passion to avoid relegation showed as they pushed counter attack after counter attack - 2 goals. 4-2 down, TH&D showed more commitment to get back in the game but to no avail, Andy Balchin then dismissed for venting his frustration as TH&D headed towards its third consecutive defeat.
Henley won this key relegation battle and TH&D’s inability to score and play its game plan and structure was brutally exposed. Pressure on. No time for fear and anxiety.
P.M.A. - Positive Mental Attitude. We need to show composure, team structure and leadership and mental toughness to get through this.
As Chuck Norris once said, "Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth." Interestingly Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. (CS)
Team: Duncan Holmes, Chris Smith, Gary Boucher, Gareth Weir, Richard Banwell, Laurent Ferron, Tom Cross, Sam Hiley, James Ireson, Andy Balchin, James Huntley, Dave Casement, Rob Heath, Simon Glasson
Scorers: Andy Balchin, James Huntley
MOM: Laurent Ferron
TFC: Chris Smith
Next game: Saturday 24 Feb vs. Slough at Fortress Dulwich College
Men’s 2s: No game
Next game: Saturday 24th Feb vs. Teddington 2s (home)
Men's 3s vs. Oxford Uni 3s: Drew 1-1
Not even worth writing about. They had 10 men and were all on the lash the night before. We had 13 and didn't play to our full potential.
Massive disappointment for all as the season end is getting so close. Big thinking point for all ahead of next week. (WC)
Team: Jeremy Porter, Wes Cole, Robbie Layton, Tom Motteram, Ed Gardiner, Adam Taylor, John Holmes, Tim Sylvester, Steeve Reeves, Nick Jacob, Foggy, Ben Wordsworth.
Umpire: Chris Coleman, Nick Harris
Scorer: Nick Jacob
Next match: Saturday 24th Feb vs. Maidenhead 3s (away)
Tornados vs. Old Loughts 4s: Lost 2-4
Team: Lee Tearle(GK), MJ, Roland Ferneaux, Nick Jones, Aidan Brock, Will Lucas, Jon Kirby, Charlie Krasun, James Perrott, Si Riley, Si Wilshire, Tom Alexander & Alex Fishwick.
Scorer(s): Nick J & Tom.
Man of the Match: Lozzer
Umpire: Provide by Old Loughts.
Next game: Saturday 24 February vs Teddington Men's 4s (home)
Diamonds: No game
Next game: Saturday 24th Feb vs. Old Loughts 5s (away)
Royals v Blackheath Lost: 5 or 6 - 1
This week the match report was a team effort, with everyone’s individual highlights.
1) Getting the obvious out of the way, we got whooped [Will] 2) It was a humid day [Thanks Ricos] 3) Meeting at London Bridge, the Royals experimented by sampling every fast food available, BK's, Cornish Pasty, Some French thing, Costa, WH Smith and M&S sarnies, crisps chocolate and sweets. Not to mention the slab of Marlborough lights!! [Richman] 4) Doug turned up wearing a fetching "Something about Mary" look...and most of the journey to heathen territory was spent discussing Doug, fluffers and John Holmes. Luckily the rest of the train had a sense of humour! [Dread] 5) Stephen’s literary recommendation during the train journey was "Scouting for Boys" by Baden Powell. Ricos confirmed he'd never read it but had been scouted as a young child... And so the day continued!! [Stephen] 6) The pre match "chain smoke" warm up didn't seem to help much but certainly unsettled the oppo, helping us to hold our own for the first half going into the break one a piece. [Dread] 7) Bob turned up nice and late due to "traffic" [even though he came by train]. He was severely punished by being put up front and forced to watch the midfield flounder away for an hour!! [Doug] 8) The Royals were sporting their new figure hugging white away shirts. Chris and Pendrill were luckily able to block out all the size zero model jeers. They should be on the front page of Vogue next week. 9) Doug once again demonstrated his laissez faire approach to captaincy and his confusion at left and right. Were in safe hands there!! [Bob] 10) The crowded touchline shoulder to shoulder with numerous people in sensible shoes but luckily Higgsy was totally unaware of any of this due to 72 hours of sleep deprivation. [Higgsy] 11) Mr Pendrill however was well aware of his surroundings remarking after the game that "that Blackheath number 20 was a right tidy little unit!!" Not sure who he was marking but Will left with a smile. [Will] 12) Not as big a smile as Ricos however who proudly admitted that he had the horn throughout the game!! [Ricos] 13) And so it began with the Royals very own Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey, Monsieur Matheu Chambers taking his debut between the sticks. As debuts went, and apart from the 5 goals, he had a stormer showing the kind of insane fearlessness in charging every shot that only a true Hells Angel would dare to fathom. Without his efforts the game could have been lost far before the last ten minutes! [Doug] 14) Ricos was lucky to still be on the pitch at the end of the game as he nearly followed through several times during a tackle. Not sure what he meant by this mind you! Although he did swear blindly that he kept getting touched from the wrong side. [Matheu] 15) So the match, well Bob got green carded for seeing one of the oppo fall over. Seemed fair to all bar the Royals, the Heathens and the crowd... [All ] 16) Oli and Ed worked tirelessly down the wings and Higgsy sent aerial after aerial into the oppo’s half. Unfortunately though, Higgsy brought with him the appaulling form Australians have been having recently in every sport they attempt. An Oli flick took us into the break at 1-1. [The New Zealand Rugby team sent this comment in by text] 17) The second half unfolded differently alas, with numerous Royals injuries; Stephen dislocating his hip on a run, then re-locating it, but with his testicle trapped! AND the umpire still forced him to hobble off the pitch unaided. Ed broke a nail and Oli’s glasses steamed up a little. After the injury break, some clinical Heathens finishing killed off any chance of a recovery by the Royals. 18) But our hosts were gracious in victory and admitted that the scoreline wasn't a true reflection of the game. We all agreed and disappeared back to civilisation ready to face Kingston away in a week.
We think that most of this is true but may have embellished slightly 11 and 16. One thing is true though, it was a humid day. Thanks Ricos! A big thanks to all those that played, watched, supported the tobacco industry and educated the masses on the true meaning of Scouting!
Team: Matheu [GK], Mike Mc, Will, Ricos, Dread, Higgsy [Def], Ed, Doug, Stephen, Oli [Mids], Chris, Bob [Fwd]
Scorer: Oli Walton [P Flick]
Next game: Saturday 24 Feb vs. Richmond Redoubtables (away)
Women’s 1s v Hampstead & Westminster 1s: Drew 1-1
Biggest game of the season so far - both teams on equal points at the top of the table, 2 goals separating the two, with THD nosing ahead on goal difference and holding top spot. A lot was riding on this game. Half term meant that we were missing a couple of key players - Alex and Nicky, but EJ filled Alex's big shoes, B slotted in at LB and Shorty was on stand-by to help our defence where required. So much happened in the game, but it seems there really wasn't much to write home about. H&W opened the scoring in the 11th minute with a well-worked short corner, but 6 minutes later, and without our regular strike force on penalty corners, Gemma slotted home our first corner to equalise.
Pipes played a blinder between the posts to deny H&W, who squandered a number of good chances and the THD defence absorbed a tremendous amount of pressure, especially in the second half, but most of which we brought upon ourselves by either passing the ball directly to them or giving away silly free-hits. Fortunately the huge amount of defensive short corner work we did at training paid off, as the oppo won a ridiculous amount of short corners and would be disappointed not to have converted more, especially at the final whistle when they had all 10 outfield players round the edge of the circle looking for the winner, which never came. Testament to our hard work and resilience. Everyone gave 100% in this fixture and although we couldn't secure the win, we made sure we kept the top spot. Still all to play for..... (GB)
Team: Pipes, EJ, Kath, Clare, B, Shorty, Lisa, Gem, Faye, Martha, Lou, Sharon & Sarah L
Scorer: Gemma
Motm: Unanimously - Pipes
Next match: Saturday 24 February Home v Basingtoke - 12pm start
Women’s 2s: No game
Next game: Saturday 24 February vs. University of London 1s (home)
Women’s 3s: No game
Next game: Saturday 24 February vs. Epsom 3s (away)
Women’s 4s: No game
Next game: Saturday 24 February vs. London Wayfarers 3s (away)
Women’s 5s: No game
Next game: Saturday 24 February vs. London Wayfarers 4s (Away)
Women’s 6s: No game
Next game: Saturday 24 February vs. Epsom 6s (home)
|
