Mon 15-Oct-07
Issue 02
General consensus seems to be that team of the week were Vickery
et al with their heroics in Marseille. Worthy of mention in the same
breath are the Men’s 5s – great start to the season with
their first league win since January – and the Women’s
4s who scored late in the day to sneak a victory vs Shirley Phoenix
(shirley many an Airplane! gag to be made somewhere there - but lacking
the comic genius of Leslie Nielsen I can’t work it out..!) The
Men’s 1s’ report describes in detail their bellicosity
in the siege of the Trojan fortress from which they emerged victorious,
much like the marauding Greeks of antiquity, but sensibly without
recourse to dirty tricks involving an oversize timber horse. And the
Men’s 4s notched up more goals than quite a few teams put together
for a strong start in their league, maybe this will be the year of
promotion for the Tornados.
Elsewhere, victories were a little thin on the ground but most seem
to have forgotten that quickly by 4pm and the final whistle bringing
cheers across the nation. Inspired, we go forth this weekend to win
ourselves, watch England win and celebrate it all at the Awards dinner.
Sarah Longair - Editor
Note: Apologies for the late delivery of the
Tribune - My fault due to pressures of 'real life getting in the way
of hockey'... will do my best not to let it happen again. GO ENGLAND
for the RWC Final - Showing in the Clubhouse on Saturday. (MJ)
Saturday 03-Nov-07
Bonfire & Fireworks Night
On Bonfire Night, all over the country people
celebrate the dispatching of a seditious character known as
Guy Fawkes who, back in 1605, attempted to blow up the Houses
of Parliament in London. But who really cares about history?
Why not come along to the clubhouse and watch the fireworks
while sampling the delights of the bar???
Everyone is welcome... entrance £5.
Help/Volunteers wanted to help with ticket sales
on the night.
Please speak to Noreen behind the bar
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Reports by: Gemma Baker, Biba Tunnicliffe, Mo O’Brien, Lindsay
McLaren, Charlotte Hull, Lexi Price, Sam Hiley, Chris Coleman, Wes
Cole, Simon Riley, Billy Dowie, Chris Richman & Mark Jones.
Women’s 1s vs. Buckingham: Lost 6-1
Annihilation may be too strong a word, but the current league leader’s
squad of 14 were just too strong for our try-their-hardest squad of
11. Plagued by injury, illness and unavailability, the women’s
sections top teams were seriously low on numbers and it is only a
miracle that 11 players made it to each fixture. That said, the 1s
embarked on their 2 hour trip to Buckingham and were full of expectation
that they may actually pull off an incredible victory, against the
odds. The game started at a frantic pace and stayed that way for most
of the first half. Buckingham took the lead through a PC, but THD
equalised minutes later, when new recruit Jo Walford took advantage
of a loose ball in the circle to put us back on level pegging. Unfortunately,
Buckingham got a second before the break, taking the lead into half
time. The second half was a different story….Buckingham took
control as they brought on fresh legs (most of them half the age of
our tired legs) and a further 3 goals went past us in quick succession
before the final nail in the coffin took the score to 6-1. One to
draw a line under and put behind us…. (GB)
Squad: Jo Malkin, Alex Crawford, Kath Sowter, Clare
Byrne, Jenny Thomas, Jo Walford, Gemma Baker, Sarah Beddoes, EJ Barry,
Sharon Smith & Martha Harvey-Jones
Scorer: Jo Walford
MotM: Gemma Baker
Next match: vs Maidenhead: 12.30 @ DC
Women’s 2s vs. Guildford: Lost 1-0
Given the fact we were 5 players down on Friday morning, the fact
we held this side to a 1-0 loss was in no way disgraceful. Thanks
to some superb foot stamping at work, Hils ‘the Impenetrable’
Collins surprised us all by being able to play at short notice after
being asked to take on an extra shift. We should also thank Beth ‘Ejector’
Little and Helen ‘the Saviour’ Shackleton who joined us
from the 3s, not to mention Lou Curry who remained good-natured as
we pillaged her team.
The game was closely contested, with our backs doing a great job
repelling the waves of counter attacks this young team managed to
put together. While we were all guilty of the odd pass straight back
to the opposition, in general our first touch and passing were good.
Sarah ‘Jeavors’ Jeavons did a great job at right half,
ripping holes in their defence as Biba ‘only half a lung functioning’
Tunnicliffe wheezed after her in her wake. Unfortunately, a sneaky
goal got through our defence and past Dulcie ‘the Rock’
Davies and though the team worked incredibly hard and put the Guildford
defence under considerable pressure in the final ten minutes of the
game, a draw remained elusive. (BT)
Team: Dulcie, Lucy P, Lou Garvin, Kato, Hils, Sarah
B, Biba, Jeavers, Rach Trafford, Zoey, Beth, Helen
Umpire: Si Riley
MOM: Hils
Next match: Home 11a.m. DC
Women’s 3s vs. Spencer: Lost 2-0
Unfortunately we have had the worst possible start to the season.
There’s not a lot to say about this match except that it was
“really disappointing that we didn't win this weekend as the
game was definitely within our reach. As individuals we have all got
the skills to play at this level and to do well in the league. Our
aim for the season is to finish in the top quarter and we can do it
but not without a bit of hard work and lots of wins. Saturday’s
game really highlighted the need for us to work on our positional
play and with each other as a team” [ – blatant plagiarism
from Lou’s last email… sorry Lou but after asking “if
the mascara brush is, bent does that mean the bottle is too?”,
you deserved it.(Ask how she strained her groin -apparently sailing
but when I got her in car the passenger seat was fully reclined….)]
Every bit of this is true as our passing let us down again purely
because none of us seem to know what the other is doing, particularly
between mids and forwards. The only part that held up under the pressure
was our increasingly stable defence. The first goal was really, really
unfortunate as a rare mistake from Olivia allowed the ball to roll
under her foot (right after a blistering save which involved diving
across the front of the goal to deflect the ball with her stick -
even the opposition applauded). It was just a matter of time before
the second went in, which came in the last minute to round off another
frustrating game.
This has served to highlight our desperate need to turn up to training
and begin working together and getting comfortable with other. With
no game this weekend and 2 training sessions hopefully we can to start
to play like we intend to finish, near top of this league-where we
belong. (By the way a big thanks to the last minute ring-ins this
week: Ros & Ellie) (MO’B)
Team: Rachel Biggs,(Bad ankle) Lou Curry (Bad leg
), Kat Dwyer, Ellie (take no s***) Gardner, Erica Goldsmith, George
Hills, Ros Hornsby, Jena Kitley, Emma Matabalawu, Mo O'Brien (Bad
arm), Emma Parker, Olivia Salau, Lottie White
POTM: Olivia
Umpire: Anna Barrett
Next Match: THD 3 v Raynes Park 1's 20th Oct? 12pm
Away
Women’s 4s vs. Shirley Phoenix: Won 2-1
A pre-dawn trip to the ghetto was the setting for the 4s' second
game of the season. We arrived refreshed and raring to go. Our trusty
mustard topped ref - peeped his whistle and we were off. Passes were
strung like we'd played together for years - our four new recruits
slipping into the 4s ways seamlessly. It was an LPS that put us in
the lead not long in. Just like the old days - short corner to Claire
(the newly named Mrs Perrott), bang to Stuttard and a graceful sweep
straight past keeps. Olympic. In awe of ourselves and how great we
were we let it slip a bit and allowed old Shirley to get one round
our diving keeper. 1-1. But we picked things up again and with Rona,
Michelle and Ash working it up the right into the D, it was a big
old defender's foot on the line that stopped Julia's shot going in.
Flick. We bullied our youngest member into taking it. A bold attempt
but sadly saved by the keeper (but a much better job than any of us
lot could have done) unlucky Julia. 1-1 was the score. Injured captain
Lynne said a wise few words and drove us on to the second half.
New Anna-Spanner was having some great runs up the middle, Kath working
the ball well out to the wings, Emma and Mary running their little
socks off - we looked like we wanted to win. Julia was having a great
game in the middle and Lucy and the backs were keeping the ball up
in the oppo's half but we just couldn't score. Endless fruitless runs
up the wing eventually paid off with a short corner. Anna to Spanner
to Mrs P - GOAL. 2-1. The remaining minutes were defended well and
finally the final whistle blew. Great stuff - it's good to win. (LMcL)
Team: Anna Stuttard, Rona Francis, Anna Cietak,
Lucy Snell, Mary Cook, Michelle Long, Kath Oliver, Emma Billsdon,
Claire Perrott, Ash Macdonald, Julia Butler.
MOTM: Julia Butler
Umpire: Steve Powell
Scorer: Claire Perrott and Anna Stuttard
Super Supporters: Lynne Ruddick and Lindsey McLaren
Next match: Saturday 13th October vs. Spencer –
12.30 @ JAGS
Women’s 5s vs. London Wayfarers 4s: Lost 0-5
So first match of the season - not quite the result we were hoping
but result aside a good start! Perhaps the number of Aussies on our
side affected the score - too busy wiping tears from their eyes from
the rugby to see the ball!
Jokes aside, a solid effort from all players, with a number of new
members joining the team this year. Speaking as one of them, we couldn't
have joined a more friendly and welcoming team!
What can I say, another few fitness sessions, training and matches
to come and the opposition better watch out! (CH)
Team: Helen Blackie, Naomi Clark, Fatima D'Onofrio,
Rachael Fallows, Helen Fermor, Charlotte Hull, Jacqui Kemp, Cecilia
Kumar, Sally Shepard, Del Vaneden, Andrea Vicari, Nicole Yost
POTM: Charlotte Hull
Next match: Saturday 13th October vs. Wanderers 5s
- 12.30 away
Women’s 6s vs. UCL Academicals: Lost 1-0
Well, there were good things, and then there were bad things...
but the latter is not really worth dwelling on for too long. I'll
try and sum it up as diplomatically as I can. We all turned up with
three subs AND got first push-back so things were looking good. Everyone
played really well (I thought) and we made a sturdy attempt at getting
up the right wing - with excellent 1-2 passes, we steadily made good
progress. Solid work from the back as always saw everyone contributing.
There were some excellent bits going on in the attacking D too (although
the backs may not have seen this) but all of the shots on goal were
deftly cleared by a very good oppo keeper. Unfortunately there was
one moment where a goal was scored under our noses so we countered
by injuring a player! Then we injured another player… At this
point it looked as if the match would be abandoned with only 7 minutes
to go - the injured player having a panic attack type thing - "bloody
drama queen" was the official report from one of the THD backs!
And then, well, that's when it pretty much finished. At least we
kept it to just one goal against.
It's fair to say we were all pretty PO'd with that result, so luckily
England then kicked some ass in rugby which made us all feel a lot
better! (LP)
Team: Charlotte, Jess, Shona, Sinead, Claire, Kate,
Andrea, Katie, Isla, Mags, Bridgitte, Vicky, Gigi, and Lex.
MOM: No-one (I thought it could have been Sinead
though for some sterling work at the back)
Next match: Saturday 13 Oct vs Leatherhead 2s, 11am
JAGS
Men's 1s vs. Trojans: Won 2-1
War on the British mainland has not been witnessed for the last 50
years, however enemy fire was upon us at 2pm last Saturday. They were
met with fierce resistance - the front line was led by the 1st battalion
of Scots Guards who orchestrated attacking phases of control and venom.
However, without notice, the enemy struck, one of our heavyweight
units, the king's own royal regiment - the Norfolk Yeomanry was forced
to retreat with a torn groin to Kernel Cross. Crumbling in the face
of adversity was lesson we did not want to repeat, relentless attacking
strikes were delivered with purpose and force. The South Africa Natal
Carineers stepped up from defence (unlike other antipodean units that
were sent home for poor performances - unlucky) to free up the Scots
Guard to land the first major damage - 1-0.
Troops rehydrated, war mantra spoken, the surge and victory was thought
near. Only for the enemy to strike under the cover of darkness to
even the scores. 1-1.
With lost battles sworn never to be repeated, troops gathered, pressure
mounted and our heavy artillery delivered further damage with Major
Ireson finding his range. Onslaught and dirty tactics were instigated
by the enemy causing damage and visits to Southampton A&E to both
to Major Ireson and General Balchin. The troops stood strong to the
carnage, and delivered a fixed position shot to officer Hyphon. Only
for him to be caught firing blanks at the oppositions fortress.
With minutes to go War Veteran Hiley from Brigade 15 pulled out a
couple of special war manoeuvres to prevent further advances but was
deemed to have broken the rules of international humanitarian law,
causing ejection from the battle. Needless to say our defence stood
strong as the white flag was raised to earn a well fought victory.
Strategic alliances between the North Lincolnshire, Gloucestershire
and the royal Deux-Point Regiment provided ample protection for our
Queen Piggy.
Team: Will Pigden, Smudger, Laurent/Luigi, Banners,
Gary, Tom Cross, Jimmy, Sam, Rob, Hyphen, Andy, Arthur, Tom Martin
(Loughborough)
MOTM: Gloucestershire regiment - lead by Major Banwell.
Umpire: Very Average, trigger happy and needs to
control the troops with respect rather than guess work!
Scorer: 1st battalion of the Scots Guard - General
Balchin, Major Ireson.
Next match: vs. Gore Court @ DC: 12.45 meet
Men's 2s vs. Hampstead and Westminster 3s: Lost 0-2
Jonny Wilkinson was the scourge of Australia again as his four penalties
dumped the teary and humbled Australians out the World Cup. There
was little flowing rugby in the game but England's powerful pack gradually
pounded the life out of boys from down under. If England showed Bulldog
spirit, the Australians could only offer the fight of that rat like
thing that lives in Paris Hiltons Handbag.
England's front row of Dulwich boy Andrew Sheridan, Mark Regan and
Phil Vickery pulverised Australia at the scrum and laid the platform
for the back-row trio of Lewis Moody, Martin Corry and Dulwich boy
Nick Easter to nullify George Smith and his mates from Men at Work.
It was a classic case of déjà vu for the ‘Ostraya’
as the pommies turned up to spoil their party and send them packing.
On the up side at least they had company on the plane from the Kiwis!!!
All I have heard is whining from the Aussies post game and I thought
it was rally considerate of us not to do it in their own backyard
this time.
All that stands in the way of England reaching the final is a bunch
of cheese-eating surrender monkeys (Sorry Laurent!). Bring it on!
All together now…
Swing low, sweet chariot……….. (CC)
Team: Robinson; Sackey, Tait, Catt, Lewsey; Wilkinson,
Gomarsall; Sheridan, Regan, Vickery (capt), Shaw, Kay, Corry, Moody,
Easter.
Replacements: Chuter, Stevens, Dallaglio, Worsley,
Richards, Flood, Hipkiss.
MOTM: Sheridan
Umpire: Some nice young chaps (Jones and Brock –
Cheers!)
Scorer: Wilkinson (4 pens)
Next match: Saturday 13th October vs. France - 20.00
away
Men's 3s vs. Hampstead & Westminster 4s: Lost 6-1
Consistent 3s. Finished 5th in the league 3 years running, lost 6-1
to H&W 3 games running (roughly). And the same old scenario during
the game: concede one early then work hard play well, hold them off
until hear half time, score through a dodgy drag flick come scramble
over the line from Foggy and then concede a couple before the half
time whistle.
Atypically we did very well for 15 minutes of the second half playing
them at their own game of hard pressing and good pace but in the last
10 minutes conceded 3 through fatigue and a loss of concentration.
But we're consistent.
Team: Jeremy Porter , Wes Cole, Tim Jones, Alex
McDonald, Laurie Mathers, Ed Gardiner, Foggy, John Holmes, Tobie Allen,
Tim Sylvester, Nick Harris, Tom Otram, Ed Marland
Umpire: Steve Reeves
Scorer: Foggy
Next match: Saturday 13th Away V's Richmond 2A's.
Men’s 4s vs. PHC Chiswick: Won 3-2
What no claret? Finally proof that you don't need to stick your face
in the way of the stick or ball to beat the oppo - a game without
facial injury for the 4s, with 2 of the side sporting fine scars from
the previous weekend's encounters.
The goal account for the Fat Slapper was opened (it's the name of
a stick, but also perhaps a dubious nickname for one - or many - of
the squad), two more for our international star (George) and a finally
a win for the stand-in keeper. A cast of thousands (14) starred in
this sporting triumph and celebrated in usual style back at the club,
pub and Swan with purple galore, not all of it consumed. THD and the
Red Rose triumphant. PHC and the Southern Hemisphere decimated. Bring
on the French, and the dinner. Allez les blancs, rouges et verts.
(SR)
Squad: MJ (GK), Ram, Toby, James, Aido, Wilsh, Riley,
Tom A, Tom C, Will, Nick, Loz, Axel, Gareth
Scorers: Tom A, George (2)
Umpire: the ever excellent Chris Coleman
Next game: vs. Indian Gymkhana (Away)
Diamonds vs. Wimbledon 6s: Won 1-0
Our first League game of the season, first three points.
These guys had just been relegated to our Division, so we didn’t
know what to expect. We played with a new formation, a strong spine
down the middle of the pitch, from Stuart at the back, through Simon,
then Adam and up to Warren. It took 10 or 15 minutes to get our bearings,
during which time we soaked up fairly constant pressure, but gradually
we found one another and started pinning them back. The formation
gave us all plenty of passing options, upfield and square, and on
the whole that's what we did, rather than running with the ball.
We scored 10 or so minutes before half time, Tim forcing the ball
over the line after a cracking shot from Adam. The biggest danger
after that was JD's head injury just before half time (split eyebrow)
when a Wimbledon player attempted an aerial flick with JD standing
three yards in front of him – with no subs, we needed JD's bravery
to stay on. (He finally left hospital at 9.00 pm, the cut being glued
together).
So, a pleasing performance and result. But also a great sense of
relief, especially since it was January last season before we notched
up a League win. (BD)
Team: Jeremy Porter, Olly Walton, Stuart Craig,
Billy Dowie, Simon Canter, Stephen Ireton, Adam Smith, JD, Warren
Holme, Bob Morris, Tim Harris
Scorer: Tim
Umpires: Both from Wimbledon
Next game: Saturday 13th October, 12.00 home to Indian
Gym at Crystal Palace
Royals vs. PHC Chiswick: Lost 7 – 2
So, in a reality TV format that is bound to be snapped up by Living
TV, which route should the Royals take to sporting greatness? Because
at the moment hockey clearly isn’t going to work!
If people vote we will give the most popular one a go.
http://www.thebigsheep.co.uk/family-attractions/bigsheeprace.html
Not necessarily a participation sport but that would be a victory
of sorts;
www.thechap.net/olympics
Well we are a team of public schoolboys;
http://www.weirdworldofsports.co.nz/
Could this and be a guaranteed win?
http://www.worldsportstackingassociation.org/
Could be an option if we change cups for pints, although, think we’d
lose to both 4th XI’s!
http://www.abc.net.au/rollercoaster/dash/wowsports/bossaball
Volleyball on a Trampoline those crazy Belgians how would Stuart Hall
cope?
By the way I wasn’t at the game but apparently the key points
are that their keeper played a blinder, the best poacher’s goal
ever was scored and that this game marked the return of the worlds
slowest Kenyan.
Thanks for those that doubled up and umpired
Team: Mat Chambers, Keith Howick, Rich Batty, Chris
DeSousa, Mark Jones, Aidan Brock, Tom Cooper, James Perrett, Kim Keats,
Adam Bond, Ben Slater, Akash
Scorers: Kim Keats, Chris DeSousa
Next game: vs. St Albans Citizens away
Dragons vs London Edwardians: Lost 3-8
One of the shabbiest performances ever by the Dragons - whatever
it was it went very badly wrong. However, it should be noted that
the previous nights trip to the Swan should in no way whatsoever be
blamed... nor the win at the rugby... really no... any problems were
not due to alcohol nor in anyway related... is that clear? (Do
you think they believed us?)
Scorers: Tim (2) & Sarah
Team: MJ, Aido, Tim, Jimbob, Wobbles, Ratty,
Sharon, Sarah, George, Cat, & Snellers.
Umpire: Si Riley
Social Events
2007/08
Regardless of what happens on the pitch this season we have a massive
amount of social stuff already planned to help you celebrate/commiserate
away from the pitch.
Bonfire Night
Saturday 03 November
Quiz Night
Saturday 17 November
Xmas Party
Saturday 08 December
Dragons' Drinks
Saturday 15 December
Kurry-Oke Night
Saturday 26 January
Race Night
Saturday 23 Februrary
End of Season Dinner
April
see www.thehockeyclub.co.uk/social/events.shtml
for more details...
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General News
